Bradley Cooper on French TV station TF1.
Photo: Courtesy of TF1
We’re not even gonna lie—Bradley Cooper kind of scares us. Everything about him reeks of a slimy shyster. I mean, he could undo our bra strap with just a glance. It’s like he’s been bred to be a creepy evil villain, but like, in real life. Tons of collegiate-level schooling to build intricate nuclear weapons and overthrow politicians? Check. Tirelessly kayaking in British Columbia with Orca whales and ice-climbing in the Peruvian Andes to find the most desolate hiding places when fleeing from the FBI? Double check. Learning multiple languages so he can blend in with locals as a master of disguise? Um, obviously.
OK, OK, so we maaaaaay be jumping the gun, but we’ve watched enough Bond movies to know that a guy who travels around the world and has Georgetown University and the New School under his belt would probably fall into the “dangerously dateable” category. No doubt: there’s something fishy going on here. We’re truly skeptical of all his “talents” and “good looks” and “charm.” That is, until we saw this three-minute clip that changed our LIVES.
A couple days ago, Bradley Cooper visited the French television station TF1 to talk about his (what else?) latest film The Hangover Part II. We were all, OK, why did our friend send us this YouTube video being all “I never got the Bradley Cooper thing until now,” because you know what? Neither do we! So we HAD to watch, obvi. Then, immediately after pressing play, beautiful French words started flowing from B Coop’s mouth. Suddenly, his stubbly two-day-old beard became cute. His fratty-gelled hair became tousled and endearing and not cronchy. The chest hair peeking from his unbuttoned blue and white plaid shirt didn’t smell of pedophile, but more of a hot man who WE’D want to touch. It’s like his villainous layer started to just melt away with the more Ouis that escaped his lovable little mouth. I mean, the only thing cuter than his tight navy blazer is when he gets confused in the middle of the interview and doesn’t know what the host is asking because NEITHER DO WE, BRAD. NEITHER DO WE. But we had a good time, you know? We had such a jolly ole time on that French TV Station, together.
So, basically Brad. Just speak French. Always. Forever. Don’t even THINK about speaking English again or you’re going to ruin this moment we’re having with you right now, OK? Thanks. Bisous, mon petit chou!