Ryan Reynolds in the June 2011 issue of ’Details.’
Photo: Courtesy of ’Details’
What’s happening with the world you guys? We’re serious. When a dude like Ryan Reynolds can’t even hang on to a lady, we don’t know WHAT to think about the crazy and kooky twentysomethings and thirtysomethings running around Hollywood these days. Right now we’re staring at him on the cover of Details, and jeeeeezzzz. WOW. It’s not even his tight black ribbed Tom Ford sweater or crotch-hugging Gucci pants that are blowing us away. It’s not even the fact that his veiny, bulgy forearm with his artsy and symbolic “I’m a loose cannon” tat is on full display. It’s all in Ryan’s face. Er, hair. Er, perfect stubbly beard. He somehow MASTERED the look of a dude that doesn’t care about how he looks, but still remains flawless. Naw’mean?
Let us dissect this photo of him in a Calvin Klein Underwear white tee. First off, that jawline. GULP. Not only is it SO CHISELED and manly and hot, but he has just a HINT of beard happening here that makes it look like he forgot to shave, but like, LET’S BE HONEST PEOPLE. When most guys forget to shave it doesn’t look that perfect. There’s always that weird hair that’s growing out of the middle of their cheek or it’s just straight-up neckbeard, but Ryan doesn’t have a single hair out of place. Also, does this man have pores? Can he even SWEAT? Does this mean he’ll never have B.O.? Is he a smelly-free man? DO THEY EXIST? HAVE WE FOUND A MIRACLE BOY? We could ponder this for hours, but we’re already distracted by his eyebrows. They’re slightly overgrown and out of place, but there’s no unibrow. If he waxes them we certainly can’t tell, but we’re 100 percent on board with these two fuzzy caterpillars scoochin’ across his forehead. And since they’re so thick, they kind of cast a downtrodden look across his face, so he always appears slightly sad. There’s something ’dorbs about a dude who always needs a hug, and we’re here for you, Ry Ry. If you ever need a hug or a back scratch or a temple massage, we’re here. Oh, and we’ll play with your perfectly disheveled hair too. You know, if there’s not too much pomade in it and you don’t mind. Yeah. Call us.