Real talk. I kiiiiiiiiinda can’t stop looking at the cast of Jersey Shore even though they’re reviled in certain circles beeeeeeecause the prospect of watching them gallivant around Rome with their drunken emo hearts BURSTING with pride and the quiet fear of dissonance and rejection holds me rapt. In fact, ever since the announcement of the fourth season’s Italian location, I’ve been picturing nothing but a sprawling fashion editorial of Snooki and JWOWW perched on animal print chaises dripping in D&G, Escada, Zannoti and ’80s Versace, adorned by GOBS of the heaviest David Yurman jewelry, surrounded by a fussy topiary potted in scads of marble.
Also, there would have to be a maze. It would take them like an hour and 45 minutes to get out.
Mike ’The Situation’ Sorrentino and Jenni ’JWOWW’ Farley in Italy on May 22.
So while I was anticipating some stylistic changes, I’m not sure I was ready for all this. Suddenly, they’re all exactly ONE fashion step away from dressing like total hipsters. See, check this out. First of all, Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino is totally carrying a sensitive-dude man purse for all his paperbacks, and even though he is sporting a great deal of flair in his bedazzled shoelaces (his own company, naturally), for all intents and purposes, his size smedium, fine-gauge, screen-printed tee and designer sunnies could certainly have him fit in with the downtown cool-guy set in Manhattan’s East Village (of course he looks Euro, he’s a DJ! etc etc). Change his shoes to some hyperstrike Nikes and he’s a hipster.
Jenni “JWOWW” Farley looks downright elegant and even her JWORTS (JWOWW jean shorts) are incredibly demure. The vibrant flats and FASHION BLOGGER SUN HAT are functional as they are attractive, but what we love is that seriously, were she wearing the solid American Apparel felt version of this millinery, she, too, would be a total hipster.
Nicole ’Snooki’ Polizzi and Deena Nicole Cortese in Italy on May 19 and May 23.
Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi’s shrunken leather jacket, dyed shorts and retro scrunched boots alone make for a total hipster callout, but the thing that nails this (other than her FUR ANIMAL PRINT SUNGLASSES) is that she looks like she’s wearing THE hottest, just-on-the-come-up trendoid spring accessory–the FANNY PACK. Upon closer inspection, the band of leopard on her midriff is actually a cummerbund (immediately skewing the look to weirdly Euro), but again, she’s about a yard of printed nylon away from iconic fashion-forward hipster material.
Deena Nicole Cortese is wearing a microfloral romper for crying out loud. The only thing that prevents her from toppling completely into H-ville is that her floral wedge heels are entirely incorrect. Were she wearing scuffed Tom’s or filthy jute-soled espadrilles, she would have been a perfect candidate too.
We’re stoked to see what each will bring on the sartorial mayhem front as soon as this season starts. BRING IT.