Hot Dude Of The Day: Matthew Gray Gubler Destroys Work Productivity With Hotness

Matthew Gray Gubler in New York City.
Photo: Jacob Sutton/Mr Porter

Ever since I found out about this Criminal Minds crime drama hottie Matthew Gray Gubler, my life has been RUINED. I used to, you know, go outside. I used to have friends. I used to have a future. But now I just sit on my computer patiently awaiting his next hilariously witty tweet or silly little creature watercolor painting or artsy-fartsy short film. And you know what? I don’t even CARE that his website takes me about two hours to load and that sometimes (OK, most times) it crashes my entire computer system because, damn it, it’s WORTH IT TO SEE HIS FLASH SPLASH PAGE OF HAND-DRAWN CREATURES MILLING AROUND HIS LITTLE IMAGINARY “GUBER-LAND” WHILE THE SOUNDS OF MONSTERS GROANING ECHOS IN MY HEADPHONES. I mean, the minute I found out he had a Tumblr, WHEWWWWWW. I just completely stopped eating. Because, really, what’s the point? I need to dedicate every living, breathing second to Matthew Gray Gubler and his whereabouts.

Recently, he made some super cute tweet (since I follow his Twitter, a-duhhh!) about him wearing shorts for the first time in SEVEN YEARS. First off, MATTHEW GRAY GUBLER + FASHION = STOP EVERYTHING. So I clicked the link and it took me to the most magical place on the internet: MrPorter.com. Upon landing we see Mr. Gubler in a sweet, sweet beige Ralph Lauren cardigan and Levi’s shirt and pants. BUT THEN, I find FIVE MORE delicious images of Matthew hanging around the cobblestone streets of Soho (I only put in three to spare you. Also, I don’t want to get fired. Hi, Mary!) On the top left, we see Matty (my nickname for him, obvi) basking in his newfound Ralph Lauren shorts glory. He’s also wearing cozy cowl neck J. Crew sweater (which he would let me borrow if we were dating because he’s nice like that) and Band Of Outsiders tee. Then, if/when Matty decides to take me out on the town, he’d probably pick me up in something like this Band of Outsiders suit and Hartford shirt. Finally, when he’s ready to meet my parents because he asked for my hand in marriage (the proposal was PHENOMENAL!!!) he’d look casual cool in a military-inspired J. Crew jacket, heather gray Levi’s tee and Jean Shop jeans. SIIGGH. Also, there’s an entire interview along with these photos and blahblahblah and Matthew says something like “I have zero interest in being the biggest thing right now,” to which I respond, “IT’S TOO LATE BUDDY. You ARE my biggest thing. In the past. Now. And forever. Love you, Mattycakes.”

Matthew Gray Gubler in New York City.
Photo: Jacob Sutton/Mr Porter