Cheryl Cole at ’The X Factor’ in L.A. on May 8, Olivia Palermo at a ’Henry’s Crime’ screening in New York on April 4, and Sarah Jessica Parker at the Robin Hood Foundation gala in New York on May 9.
Photo: Getty Images/PictureGroup
So, this is happening. In a real Fugu-like display, it seems teasing-the-hair-on-the-crown-of-your-head-until-a-monstrously-large-follicle-dome-floats-several-inches-above-like-a-spun-sugar-halo, is the hottest new ’do. Every one from “The X Factor”’s Cheryl Cole to fashion plates, Olivia Palermo and Sarah Jessica Parker, have succumbed to the too-enticing temptations of looking like some Southern televangelist’s child bride.
It’s so weird, right? All three of these women are beautiful. And incredibly stylish. I literally cannot remember the last time Palermo caught a style L. And while SJP takes hella fashion risks, it pays off more frequently than it doesn’t, and usually her hair looks pristine. Inconceivable. They all come from divergent backgrounds and enjoy completely different careers and yet, here they are, sporting Rodeo-lady hair to occasions that feature multiple photographers. Were they all just feeling a little extra-kicky or retro that day? Were they all previously at respective al fresco costume luncheons that featured burnt orange Pyrex, avocado-colored fridges, swirled linoleum, halter aprons with sunflowers on them and Tupperware that nested into each other that at one time held wee, individual icebox cakes?
It’s all very, “my kitchen has a chicken theme” in a way that is confusing. Perhaps it is the handiwork of a well-respected, trusted coiffeur on a spree. Or perhaps this is just the hot newnew now. Oooooor, and this is perhaps the most likely culprit, THIS is not in fact a style as it is the hottest new workout wherein teasing your tresses until it creates a giant matted pompadour works your triceps out in an anaerobic manner that creates pilates arms and makes your head look HUGE, which makes your waist look small and your feet even tinier. DONE. SOLVED. This trend may be here for keeps. I am maybe teasing my shiz right now and having an editorial assistant take wordpress dictation. YOU CAN’T KNOW. #swag