Nicely Done: Michelle Obama With Your Halston Dress, Awesome Hair And Layered Chain Necklaces

Michelle Obama at the White House Correspondents' Association Gala in Washington, D.C., on April 30.
Photo: Getty Images

Dudes. I don't know how much gravitas I'm supposed to employ whilst discussing the comeliness of the first lady, especially on a day as loaded with political significance as today, but whatever the occasion, whatever the time, regardless of whatever other people wore to the White House Correspondents' Dinner, there is just no denying that Mobama looked RIDIC HOT. Right? It's basically insane. Let's break down the stats.

First of all, sure, those arms. We've been admiring that yoga divot right after the shoulder muscle for multiple seasons, so I won't dawdle there, but she's wearing a fascinating Halston dress from, like, two years ago. It's notable because it features a HELLA deep V, but it's exceptionally elegant due to its muted puce color and silky sheen. There's SOME glinting but only the amount that indicates that the dress is classy and VERY expensive. I will not delve too deeply into whatever undergarments she is working with for fear of gaucheness, but I gotta say, that kind of bias-cut fabric betrays EVERYTHING. So the fact that she's not lumpy or weirdly foamy displays a great deal of expertise. Twenty-seven points.

The hair? Extraordinary. A good eye-swoop in the front for utmost sexiness, and the large curls bring up the bob so that it not only looks as occasion appropriate as an updo but is just a lot less formal and fussy. And it's short enough that you can not only see the silver and rose gold earrings but the texture and bounce actually accentuate the curved silhouette of the jewelry as well. Eighteen points.

The necklaces however, make the look for me, and here's why. Yo, how many times can you ACTUALLY say you've seen a woman of a certain age and level of importance (who is NOT an actress or fashion designer) NAIL on-trend jewelry this hard? The layered chains (all her jewelry is by Irit Design BTW) are awesome, and the dripping portion that calls attention (but not too much attention) to her décolletage is resoundingly smoking. Forty-five bajillion points. Bonus points for being the EXACT right level of boob-ish.

Nicely done, Michelle Obama. You command the respect of those around you as your man commands the searing envy and bile of dudes around you both.