FX

'American Horror Story: Hotel' Is One Big Group Sex Montage

This entire season is like one big ménage à everybody.

This season of "American Horror Story" has everything we've come to expect from Ryan Murphy's literal and figurative freak show, from monsters hiding under (or in this case, inside) the bed to gorgeous, gory set pieces requiring buckets of blood and lots of imagination.

But this season has also given us a whole new set of expectations, just for "American Horror Story: Hotel."

Namely, it's now officially weird if an episode doesn't include at least one group sex scene.

It's not clear whether the show's creators are doing this on purpose (except please, they totally are), but group sex has become the unofficial de facto theme of AHS this season. We're not even halfway through, and already it's been orgies galore for the inhabitants of the Hotel Cortez -- as you can see, since we've rounded 'em up. Which is your favorite?

  • The Countess and Donovan, and their nameless victims
    FX

    Remember when it was actually shocking and new to see a straight-up orgy on television? ...You should. It was six weeks ago. We were so young and innocent back then.

  • The Countess, Tristan, and the Lumbersexual Tinder Hipster
    FX

    Poor Lumby never even had a chance to take his pants off, what with all the dealbreaking vag action and brutal stabbing, but we're counting it anyway.

  • Det. John Lowe and the Swedish ghost girls
    FX

    What's the Swedish word for group sex resulting in a mental breakdown?

  • The Countess, Will Drake, and (sigh) Tristan
    FX

    Aw, Tristan. From leading man to incidental fluffer in the course of a single day.

  • The Countess, Valentino, and Natasha
    FX

    We don't know why the Countess looks so excited, this is like her sixteenth threesome this month.

  • Sally, Gabriel, and The Addiction Demon
    FX

    And finally, one ghost junkie + one live junkie + one rapist demon with a drillbit dildo = the most horrific ménage à trois yet this season. Which, let's be honest, is really saying something.