John Oliver Had A Brilliant F-Bomb-Ridden Response To The Paris Attacks


In the wake of the horrific November 13 terrorist attacks in Paris, people around the world have devoted countless moments to quietly grieving in solidarity with the city and its citizens.

But sometimes, a moment of silence just doesn't quite convey the full range of emotions you want to express.

Enter John Oliver, who devoted his opening segment on "Last Week Tonight" to a different kind of prayer for Paris: the kind full of words that our editorial standards forbid us from printing uncensored.

"It’s hardly been 48 hours, and much is still unknown, but there are a few things we can say for certain," Oliver said. "And this is when it actually helps to be on HBO, where those things can we said without restraint, because after the many necessary and appropriate moments of silence, I’d like to offer you a moment of premium cable profanity."

At which point the host delivered the following, epic tirade:

So here is where things stand: first, as of now, we know this attack was carried out by gigantic f--–ing a–-holes; unconscionable, flaming a-–holes; possibly working with other f--—ing a-–holes; definitely working in service of an ideology of pure a–holery.

Second, and this goes almost without saying, f—-- these a–holes. F--- them, if I may say, sideways. And third, it’s important to remember, nothing about what these a-–holes are trying to do is going to work. France is going to endure, and I’ll tell you why. If you’re in a war of culture and lifestyle with France, good f—ing luck, because go ahead, bring your bankrupt ideology. They’ll bring Jean-Paul Sartre, Edith Piaf, fine wine, Gauloises cigarettes, Camus, Camembert, madeleines, macarons, Marcel Proust and the f—--ing croquembouche. You just brought a philosophy of rigorous self-abnegation to a pastry fight, my friend. You are f—--ed.

And the crowd went wild.

There's really nothing more to be said after this, but if we may: F--- YEAH.