Doomsday Letter to Busta Rhymes

Dear Big Homey,

You called it. You warned hip-hop heads of the impending apocalypse long ago. Yeah so maybe your boasts of “There’s only five years left,” on your debut album The Coming were off by 10 years. But now that Judgment Day is fast approaching and May 21, 2011 is almost upon us, we can only hope that we don’t experience the Extinction Level Event that you predicted. But I guess When Disaster Strikes, there isn’t really much we can do, plus today is your born day, so f--k it, “It’s a Party.”

I don’t know about you, Bus, but for these next few hours, I’m just gonna “Do My Thing” and “Keep it Movin” listening to classic Dungeon Dragon joints. I’m pretty sure suckas will “Abandon Ship” but real hip-hop heads will makes sure “Everything Remains Raw.”

So while I wait for “The End of the World” I just may “Get High Tonight” kick “Rhymes Galore” and “Tear da Roof Off” so “Pass the Courvoisier” if you don’t mind. We’re both from Brooklyn and are constantly on our “New York Sh--t" so we’re used to Anarchy and of course we’re “Ready for War.” It’s really nothing new.

The Genesis started with The Big Bang and I’m pretty sure there will be a time when “Everybody Rise Again” or maybe these are all just “Bad Dreams.”

Really though, It Ain’t Safe No More… everyone wants to “Riot” and “Make It Clap” “In the Ghetto.”

We were getting “Arab Money,” but I guess it doesn’t matter because you can’t take it with you when you’re gone. Still I keep a stash in a mattress and dare anyone to “Touch It.” I’m warning you now, “Don’t Get Carried Away” because “I’m A Go and get My…” well you know what I mean.

I done “Been Through the Storm” and I’m ready to go. I just want to say I love my peoples; I love my kids and most of all “I Love My Bitch.”

Thanks Busta Rhymes for providing us with the soundtrack to the last day on Earth! Armageddon never sounded so good.


-Rob Markman