By Chris Yuscavage
Your worst nightmare just came true: The-Dream has reportedly agreed to help Kim Kardashian record an album. According to Ciara, who talked with MTV News last week, Ray J’s former jumpoff has already held several private recording sessions with The-Dream in 2010 and is looking to release a full-length album in 2011. “I know that she recorded,” Ciara said, “but it’s under lock and key what they’re doing.”
Now, we know what you’re wondering: “How the hell does this affect me? I came here to read about the Eminem and Lil Wayne “SNL” concert, not this (content edited for our younger audience)!” But, listen up, because this news actually does affect you. If Ms. Kardashian is recording an album — and recording it with The-Dream, no less — you just know there are a handful of MCs lining up to lay guest vocals for the project, right? And with all the bank that girl is pulling in, you know they’re doing it with a smile on their face, too. But, who is actually going to make the final cut? Well, by pulling a few strings (thanks, Kris Humphries!), RapFix was able to get the exclusive scoop.* Thank us later.
Kim Kardashian x Kanye West
Is Kim really about to give birth to Kanye’s baby?!? No, but she is about to give birth to the strangest Kanye West collaboration since the time he jumped on Madonna’s “Beat Goes On.” Get excited!
Kim Kardashian x Nicki Minaj
They sample Will.I.Am rapping, “What you gon’ do with all that junk? All that junk inside your trunk,” on “My Humps.” Because, really, what else would these two make a song about?
Kim Kardashian x Eminem
Kim’s lawyer sent Em’s lawyer a memo. It read: “Send me a verse now or I’m suing you for putting me through a wood chipper in your ’We Made You’ video.” Ouch.
Kim Kardashian x 50 Cent
Ciara’s BFF and her other “BFF” (seriously, will Ci-Ci and Fif just come out and admit that they were/are together already?) team up for a track that sounds an awful lot like 50’s “Best Friend.” Olivia loses again.
Kim Kardashian x Lil Wayne
No shots, but Weezy will record a guest verse for just about anyone (shout out to 3LW, Avant, Mya, Enrique Iglesias, Cassie, Kat DeLuna, Electrik Red and … oh, you get the point). Just make the check is payable to “Cash Money/Young Money Records,” please.
Kim Kardashian x Drake
And while we’re talking “Young Money/Cash Money,” you know that, as an R&B/pop singer, you can’t release an album today without a Drake verse on it, right?
Kim Kardashian x Diddy
The bad news: Kim K is working with Diddy. The good news: The rest of Dirty Money didn’t get invited.
Kim Kardashian x Waka Flocka Flame
The song goes something like this: “Bow bow bow bow, look at all that booty, girl. Bow bow bow bow, look at all that booty, girl. Bow bow Bow…” Wash, rinse, repeat. Simple but effective — and just the kind of Southern banger Kim needs to become a superstar below the Mason-Dixon Line.
Kim Kardashian x Rick Ross
Kim is her own boss. Rick Ross is The Boss. And together, they get bossy all over a track. Now, isn’t that boss?
Kim Kardashian x 2Pac
In case you’ve never caught an episode of “Keeping Up With The Kardashians” (for the record, we haven’t either — except that one time … er, okay, two times), Kim reps for the West Coast. And, oh yeah, in case we forgot to mention this earlier, she’s paid. So, why not pay for an unreleased ’Pac track for your album?
*Okay, we lied. We don’t have the exclusive scoop on this. But, come on: You know a few of these rappers are gonna end up on Kim’s album, right? So, prepare yourself — and don’t say we didn’t warn you!
Do you think rappers should agree to work on songs with Kim Kardashian if she asks them to? Tweet us at @MTVRapFix or tell us in a comment below!