It’s not surprise that “Kingdom Hearts 3” is finally a real thing. The long awaited numbered sequel to Disney and Square Enix’s saccharine storied, melodramatic fated mash up is just on the horizon (the very, very distant horizon). I can’t even fathom the number of teary eyed fans that can’t wait to hear the next remix of Simple and Clean while wondering what new fan service-y characters will appear in KH3.
Furthermore, now that Disney has effectively so-opted our childhood with Marvel and the recent acquisition of Star Wars we thought it was finally time to speculate like crazy about who should make a cameo in this beloved series.
Here’s out Top 10 Characters That Should Appear in “Kingdom Hearts 3”
10. C3-PO and R2-D2
Every semi-serious, young adult oriented story needs it’s share of comic relief. Normally this is how Goofy and Donald are used. Maybe their can be a bit of a compromise — we’ll fuse Goofy with Threepio and Donald with R2. That way everyone wins.
9. The Hulk
In terms of characters, Hulk doesn’t fit all that great. But as potential set piece I think his inclusion would be neat. It could be a whole level devoted to chasing and stopping a rampaging Hulk — who the Heartless have caused to go insane. His swath of destruction would be an amazing showcase to test Sora’s compassion and skill.
8. Darth Vader
I would have put him higher on the list but “Hearts” has enough dark robed baddies to go around and a younger Anakin makes my hair curl. Maybe Vader can join the Heartless and generally be a foreboding presence before performing some grand redemptive gesture for our heroes?
7. Ashley Riot
Wait, you thought these would all just be superheroes and Jedi and Jim Henson alien muppets, didn’t you? Too bad. Though this is a personal issue for me — I loved the dank and drab dungeon crawling of “Vagrant Story” and since it will never get a sequel or update I’m stuck having my favorite Riskbreaker in a third string line-up.
6. Professor X
Imagine an entire world inside Sora’s brain? The visionary leader of the X-Men could make that happen. Also this would be perfect to set up an internal battle for Sora to work out, creating a deeper story in the process.
5. Iron Man
Given the massive momentum behind the amazing Avengers and Iron Man movies, Tony Stark would be a perfect fit as a temporary ally/weapon smith. Who would want a new Iron Sora to test against a high level opponent in a gladiatorial arena! If Disney could secure Robert Downey Jr. for VO, that’d be even better.
4. The Millennium Falcon
As cool as Han is, it’s really the ship that everyone wants to pilot. Honestly, I haven’t played “Kingdom Hearts” in a long time — is the Gummi Ship still a thing? If so, let’s replace it with the coolest spaceship in the galaxy. Ok? OK!
3. Squirrel Girl
I called up Alex Zalben over at Geek about who deserves a spot and he suggested (reads from crumpled note) a “Squirrel Girl” — which I thought was just a joke on my somewhat limited knowledge of superheroes. At any rate the name alone sounds adorable and I hear she’s kicks a butt, too — using the power of, squirrels I guess. With a world full of anthropomorphized toons she might be right at home.
The little green space wizard belongs in just about anything. Yes, he might be super old but in the prequels he held is own with that adorable lil’ lightsaber. He doesn’t have to even batter, he can just sit back and be all wise and show Sora a thing or two about Jedi-ing. Also, Dagobah level — ’nough said.
Your friendly neighborhood web-head would probably fit the best. He’s got all the superpowers and can be relatable to boot — especially if they keep him an awkward teenager with spider powers. He’d be best pals with Sora, Kairi and the rest of the gang with sarcastic wits and lovable attitude.