So I hear Microsoft has some big announcement today about some kind of new “ecksbawks” and it’s supposed to play the next “Call of Duty” vidjagame. OK, OK — snark aside –MS’s next big thing is getting all gussied up before the prom night that is E3 and we’re liveblogging it here! The Pre-show starts at 12PM ET with the main event beginning at 1PM ET.
Hey! Kiala Kazebee here – newest member of the Multiplayer team. You may know me from the Twitters, my Geek and Sundry show with Felicia Day and Nerdist. I love me some viddeo gamez so sit tight for some riveting live action blogging of this event by yours truly. SO EXCITE – gonna pee my pants 720 times. Get it? 720? Anyway.
Oh god 30 seconds! I am literally throbbing with excitement! Sort of. Or coffee.
It’s starting! This intro is pretty good because there are real women in it. Not wearing bikinis. Progress! And Steven Spielberg (also not in a bikini).
It is super impressive they’ve not had a new console in 8 years and they still sell like a billion a year.
“Team Xbox is on a mission….it’s time for technology to step behind the curtain and let you take center stage”
They’re calling it XBOX One! It’s like the origin story of XBox. I’m a nerd.
Uh oh “cloud powered”…..this might be an issue. I’m worried.
Yusuf Mehdi is up now to tell us about the new features. “The all in one experience”. “XBox ON” he just said to turn it on. “Earl Gray Hot” I just said. To make me laugh. And because I want some tea.
SO basically it’s all voice commands AND hand gestures to can control your live tv (if you have a compatible cable company). Just like Minority Report!
Here’s the new XBox One:
Ooh you can yell at your XBox to ask when Golden Girls is on! DREAMS DO COME TRUE. (There was also some stuff about sports which…my eyes glazed over so sorry.)
8 GB of ram! A blue ray drive! silent operation! ( I hope it delivers tacos too)
No waiting – you can switch back and forth from tv to game and back immediately like you’re changing channels. This is great because I have a hard time waiting 30 seconds to heat up my coffee in the microwave. I don’t have all minute okay?
It can measure your heartbeat! I wonder if it can feel my feels? And then hug me and get me a drink. Oh now we’re talking about smart glass. It’s uh…it’s built in there. Yayyyyy?
300,000 servers for XBox One. A dedicated DVR to capture your awesome kill to death ratios and also when you blow yourself with your own grenade. LIke I do.
Andrew Wilson from EA is going to explain how MAGIC works. And magnets too I hope.
Magic happens in sportsings games. EA Sports Ingnite. “blurs the line between real and virtual”. I like the idea of not having to go outside to do sport because the outside burns.
Sportsing interviews. These are of interest to many people I assume. Not judging….nope. Noppppeeee.
Pic of the new controller!
Yay! Sports games demo. IMPRESS ME XBox. G’ahead. Try it.
Wow. The graphics are pretty incredible. If I sportsed I’d be high fiving people or something. The movement is super realistic.
Forza 5 will be available at launch. Kinda cool?
Remedy is up now. I heart Alan Wake a lot so this better be good.
Holy poop. That did look good. Quantum break…some kind of disaster movie/ psychic creepy little girl story.
Phil Spencer is clearly a watch hoarder.
I am not going to make the Nancy Tellem joke. I AM NOT INTERNET.
Wait, Xbox is going to become the next water cooler? IT DISPENSES WATER? Truly the future of thirst and grokking.
Here are some awesome sportsing and Forza pics:
Steven Spielberg is making a live action Halo movie for Xbox!? LENS FLARE JOKEEEEEE.
Oh man…fantasy football interactive with the actual game. Even I might want to do that and the only sport I engage in is drinking.
Magic and science, huh? They…they know one of those things isn’t real right?
Ooh! World premiere! It’s Pong right?
Of course it’s Call of Duty. I think this speech should have much more lag. For realism.
Call of Duty: Ghosts – behind the scenes video. THEY SHOWED A LADY PLAYING (this must be the magic part).
THERE IS A DOG WHO IS A PART OF YOUR TEAM OMG. Also new guns and better dynamics and an AI system. But whatever…DOGGY.
Multiplayer is more dynamic…the maps change based on what happens in the game. Character driven and emotionally engaging. (well duh…DOGGYYYY)
Pics of Steven Spielberg and also the new creepy psychic girl game:
COD does look great but I always wonder how multiplayer will look….it’s never as good.
Question? If we can customize our COD avatar can we make her a woman? I mean because duh…
Aaaand…looks like that’s it! More info and games will be revealed at E3. In summary, I like the new name but I wonder what the President will call his new XBox now?
Thanks for watching this with us! More wrap ups to come soon. In the meantime what did everyone think? Excited? Bleh? DOGGIES? Let us know in the comments.