By Joseph Leray
In today’s fast-paced world of ironic re-tweeting and punchline hashtags (#swag), how nice would it be to get back to our roots and insult people face to face? Why subtweet when you could just straight up tell your foes: “You make me want to puke”? Let Ron Gilbert do the heavy lifting for you.
Thankfully, the intrepid Karza Games have developed a browser-based insult swordfighting game from Monkey Islands 1 and 3, allowing you to learn and incorporate pirate-themed barbs into your everyday life. You’ll be telling people they fight like dairy farmers in no time.
The music and the chunky sprites are a nostalgic touch, and the game itself is pretty simple: challenge a few pirates to a duel, than learn new insults and their appropriate retorts. You can play with insults from Monkey Island 1, 3, or both. For my money, the insults from 1 are the better choice — the rhyming in 3 makes things a little too easy once you get to the Sword Master.
In any case, give it a spin while you can — as Rock, Paper, Shotgun points out, Disney owns LucasArts which owns the rights to Monkey Island, and who knows how kindly they’ll take to unofficial projects like this one.