Ever Cleaned A Virtual Baby Before? Well, I Have

Few games have made me feel truly uncomfortable. "Silent Hill 2" came close, but "My Little Baby" probably came even closer.

At a small press event CDV Software a few weeks ago, a representative ran through their DS lineup, including "My Little Baby." It's pretty much what you'd expect: a baby simulator.

Is there something -- anything? -- more terrifying than that to a 23-year-old?

I don't think so.

1UP freelancer (and former GameTap staffer) Dana Jongewaard was seated next to me during these shenanigans and while I looked at the different options available in "My Little Baby." She noted my awkwardness. She was able to laugh a little more than most. She's pregnant. Somehow, it made me feel a little better about the whole experience.

I tried to keep in mind "My Little Baby" was never meant to be played by someone like me, but having done so, I can recommend that high schools might want to employ it in sex education classes. It's far scarier than any Power Point presentation. I mean, just look at some of the "features" …

* Raise a newborn baby through four developmental stages of early childhood by feeding, clothing and caring for her

* Using the Nintendo DS microphone and stylus, interact with your baby by talking to her, playing peek-a-boo, tickling him, and teaching her to speak

* Shoot scrap book photos of your baby or use them in an in-game baby beauty pageant

Ahhhhhhh!

To be honest, the experience wasn't that strange until the game asked me to use the stylus to clean up a diaper mess. At that point, I turned the DS off, declared I'd seen enough of "My Little Baby" for one day -- probably ever.

At least until I'm tricked into playing the inevitable Wii version on the next press tour...