Sega Regrets: New ‘Sonic Unleashed’ Game Drops Bizarre Human-Hedgehog Romance

If you have the courage and haven’t eaten any food in the last half hour, then you can search the Internet for proof that, in his last self-titled Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3 game, Sonic the hedgehog fell in love with and kissed a human woman.

This inter-species romance ends now.

A Sega representative demonstrating the new multi-platform “Sonic Unleashed” at a company event in San Francisco this week told me that “I promise there will be no humans making out with Sonic” in the new game.

He did say there will be “new humans” in the game. As long as they don’t get to first base with Sonic, I think some (not all!) people will be happy.

Other “Sonic Unleashed” declarations from the same rep included:

  • The revelation that the game’s director was “not involved with the previous outing.”
  • The promise that the new game will be “expanding on titles people liked.”
  • The intention of the developers “to make Sonic new and relevant again.”

Anyone sensing a theme? Can you guess which game Sega regrets making?

“Sonic Unleashed ” features day and night modes of play. Night mode was not shown. Day mode is the classic Sonic-runs-fast gameplay in a 3D environment that often runs in the so-called 2.5D of “Sonic And The Secret Rings.” The game moved fast but is hard to judge without a hands-on, given that “Sonic” games live or die by things like camera and level flow. Sega was only letting its own employees play the game.

Reporters were also told that, for the most part, Sonic’s friends like Tails and Knuckles will not be playable in this game. The figure I heard was that gameplay would be “95%” Sonic-based.