Judged By The Cover: 'The Orange Box' Edition

orange-box-boxes1.jpgAnother week, another swath of games trying to impress us with their box art.

Recently Valve's "The Orange Box" (whose cover people tolerated or hated) was split into three separate boxes. I take a look at all three covers as well as a few stragglers in our ongoing series of shallowly judging games only by their boxes.

portal.jpg"Portal" (PC)

What the Box Tells Us: Seriously, how long did it take to make this? I drew the exact same thing in three seconds. No matter how ugly a game's cover is, I usually appreciate the amount of work that went into it. So in this case, "F" for effort, "Portal." Geez.

Love It or Leave It: Leave it.

halflife2episodepack.jpg"Half-Life 2: Episode Pack" (PC)

What the Box Tells Us: Valve continues to keep things simple and to the point, but this one looks like it took more thought. The premise: people vs. robots. But what about online play? "Also includes online play," which it says right under the title. And this box art even has other box art on it for the previous two games. So meta.

Love It or Leave It: Love it.

teamfortress2.jpg"Team Fortress 2" (PC)

What the Box Tells Us: The guy with the biggest gun gets the front position. At least I think it's a gun. It could also be a sausage shooter because those things around his neck look like neatly wrapped hot dogs. A sausage-fest, indeed.

Love It or Leave It: Love it. (I think.)

minicopteradventureflight.jpg"MiniCopter Adventure Flight" (Wii)

What the Box Tells Us: "Mini"? There's nothing "mini" about those giant helicopters flying around in someone's living room! The cuckoo clock is a nice touch though...

Love It or Leave It: Leave it.

fatalfury.jpg"Fatal Fury: Battle Archives Vol. 2" (PS2)

What the Box Tells Us: What is going on here? The rule for characters to appear on this cover: raise an arm or kick out a leg. There are so many characters crammed in here that the poor folks on the bottom don't even get face space in front of the game's logo. Maybe there would be more room for characters if that red hat wasn't so ridiculously large.

Love It or Leave It: Leave it.

Is there a game you'd like us to judge solely by its cover? Let us know.