My Enemy This Week: My Girlfriend, Kirby And 'Smash Bros.'

KirbyReaders, I need advice.

My girlfriend is wiping the floor with me at "Super Smash Bros. Brawl."

I've been able to convert my girlfriend into digging most of my nerdy habits, be it "X-Files," "Lost," or comic books (she just finished Frank Miller's "The Dark Knight Returns") -- but not games. Yet she has an obsession with the "Super Smash Bros." series. I had no idea this passion existed, but she counts the brawlers among her favorite games of all-time, right next to "Tetris."

When I was in middle school, none of my friends were much into "Smash Bros." "GoldenEye 007" always dominated our time, so the N64 and GameCube "Smash" games mostly passed me by. Thanks to my girlfriend's surprise interest, that's changed with the Wii's "Brawl."

My girlfriend is a formidable opponent with the pink puffball of doom, also known as Kirby. Most of the time it seems like she doesn't know what she's actually doing, but there's a method to her button smashing madness.

Why? Because I keep losing. Not every time, mind you, but enough for me to step back and coin her as My Enemy This Week. Playing as Kirby makes a lot of sense, too. Kirby's ability to "fly" by continually inhaling and exhaling prevents him from ever falling off stages for an instant KO. And he (it?) can absorb the powers of any opponent that's being an annoying pest. This has made my girlfriend a formidable foe.

Is there an anti-Kirby character I should pick? So far, I haven't had much luck with newcomers Pokemon Trainer and Captain Olimar. Sword-based characters, such as Link, appear to be a most effective countermeasure, thanks to their bevy of air-countering attacks. Playing the game on something other than the flimsy Wiimote might help, too (it is not the most effective way to play, Jason!).

Or I could just be making excuses. Shh.

Now that she's aware that her Kirby skills have gotten under my skin, it's made her all the more determined to find additional ways to take me down. "We're playing Smash Bros. after work," she said this morning. "I need to learn more characters."

Awesome.

"Smash Bros." was never my game, but apparently that's not my choice anymore. Then again, my girlfriend wants to play games. I can't complain about that.

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