The Weekend Plan: 'The Butler,' 'Baby Sellers' And Fried Bacon

By Amelia Mularz

Because we just heard those bearded dudes from "Duck Dynasty" rake in $200,000 per episode, it might be time to ease off the reality TV and watch a movie instead. What to see? Here’s the scoop:

On the Big Screen: "Lee Daniels' The Butler"

So you shine Nixon’s shoes, your wife’s a tad boozy and your son dabbles in Black Pantherism (kids!). That’s just a typical day in the life of Cecil Gaines. In an epic Forest Gump-like style, "Lee Daniels' The Butler" follows Cecil’s life from his childhood in the '20s, through the civil rights movement in the '60s, and right up to Obama’s presidency. Forest Whitaker takes the lead and Oprah (yes, OPRAHHH!) plays his wife. Highlights include John Cusack doing his best Tricky Dick impersonation, Jane Fonda as Nancy Reagan and Oprah in a tracksuit.

On the Boob Tube: "Baby Sellers"

There is no better reason to stay home on a Saturday night than a Lifetime movie. Remember such titles as "Cyber Seduction," "Friends ‘Til the End" and "She’s Too Young"? What about "Death of a Cheerleader" (Tori Spelling played the meanest popular girl ever)? This Saturday night Kirstie Alley stars as a high-profile child trafficker in the brand new Lifetime Original Movie, "Baby Sellers." While this baby flick won’t include John Travolta or a talking fetus (à la "Look Who’s Talking"), it’s sure to be filled with tons of juicy drama. It is a L.O.M., after all.

From the Vaults of Your DVD Collection: "Dazed and Confused"

It’s that time of year again when youngsters across the country fill their brand new JanSports with Dixon Ticonderogas and head back to class. Whether you’re in school or not, revisit a teen classic, like "Dazed and Confused." “Now fry like bacon, you little freshman piggies!”

Recommended munchies: If you do go with "Dazed and Confused," give a nod to Simone’s freshman hazing with a peanut butter and bacon shake from Sonic. Yeah, a large has 1,720 calories and 118 grams of fat, but who’s counting?