Kevin Smith Is Planning One Weird Horror Movie

Oh, directors and their wacky threats to quit filmmaking. We rarely believe them. Case in point: Kevin Smith. The loud and proud filmmaker announced that he finished a new script for a horror film he’s calling “Tusk.” The movie is currently in pre-production. “Tusk” started out as a joke on Smith’s Smodcast series, but fans rallied to see the director bring it to life. Smith was inspired by a classified ad from a man searching for a lodger. The ad read:

“To take on the position as my lodger you must be prepared to wear the walrus suit for approximately two hours each day (in practice, this is not two hours every day — I merely state it here so you are able to have a clear idea of the workload). Whilst in the walrus costume you must be a walrus — there must be no speaking in a human voice, and any communication must entail making utterances in the voice of a walrus.”

Pretty freaky, eh? Can we dub walrus horror a new genre? Fans of Smith’s recent horror film Red State: are you digging this new project?

Lost ’Wicker Man’ Footage Finally Getting a Release
Hugs to Nic Cage and Neil LaBute, but the 2006 remake of the Robin Hardy horror classic, “The Wicker Man,” frankly, sucked. The original 1973 film centered on a police sergeant who investigates the disappearance of a young girl on an isolated island. Naked, crazy, pagan shenanigans take place, and our investigator finds himself trapped in a strange, new world. The original print was edited to bits, with different cuts popping up throughout the years. Through it all, some missing footage was left behind, but after a worldwide push to hunt it down, StudioCanal has come to the rescue. They’ll be releasing an original cut of the film in theaters September 27 and on DVD and Blu-ray October 14. This year marks the 40th anniversary of the movie, which makes this news the best birthday present ever.

Elijah Wood’s ’Maniac’ Is Officially a Banned Film
The censors are at it again — this time taking aim at the remake of William Lustig’s grimy slasher flick, “Maniac.” Elijah Wood stars in the adaptation as the psychotic killer with a penchant for women’s scalps. New Zealand’s Office of Film and Literature Classification has banned the movie, with the exception of film festival screenings and academic use. People are outraged, calling the ruling “an insult to the intelligence of the adult population of New Zealand.” The original grindhouse classic shocked and appalled audiences during its release in 1980.

New Trailer for Australian Horror Remake ’Patrick’
A remake of the 1978 Aussie horror film “Patrick” will debut at the Melbourne International Film Festival this weekend. Twitch has a new trailer for the movie, about a sickly man who murdered his family and now controls those around him with psychokinetic powers. A young nurse falls prey to his killer instinct. We’re glad they left the scene in the film where Patrick spits on the nurse — a move Quentin Tarantino “borrowed” for a scene in “Kill Bill.”

Abigail Breslin Joining Schwarzenegger in zombie movie ’Maggie’?
Are you still trying to compose yourself over the news that Arnold Schwarzenegger will be starring in a zombie movie? Here’s more scoop to get excited about: Abigail Breslin is currently in talks to join the former Governator in the movie “Maggie.” The film is based on a Black List script from John Scott about a father (Arnie) and his daughter (Breslin) who escape a zombie virus that has spread throughout the country. Breslin has experience with the walking dead after starring in Ruben Fleischer’s “Zombieland.” Arnie, on the other hand, needs to brush up on the rules and practice his “double tap.”