Tom Cruise’s Parenting Decisions Are The Week’s Most Important News

By Amelia Mularz

Sure, we’ve all been thinking it. Suri Cruise, when will you start pulling your own weight? Itty bitty high heels don’t grow on trees, ya know.

Suri, daughter to Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, is at the ripe age of six, which in celeb child years means she’s nearly ready to carry her own mortgage. Drew Barrymore, who herself is the daughter of a Hollywood family, had a film under her belt by age four, and starred in E.T. at seven. If Suri were Shirley Temple, she’d already have an Oscar sitting in her playroom. And then there’s the more recent success of Quvenzhan√© Wallis, who got an Oscar nom earlier this year. She was only five when she auditioned for “Beasts of the Southern Wild.”

So basically what we’re saying is, put your best sparkly kitten heels on young lady, and march yourself down to your local SAG headquarters. It’s time to get moving on your sluggish film career.

And yet, in a shocking twist, this week Tom Cruise revealed that he will NOT pressure Suri. At the premiere of his new film, “Oblivion,” he told the press that his children will “do what they’re going to do.” He also said, “I’ll support them in whatever it is they want to do.”

Following that statement, Joe Jackson, Dina Lohan, and the entire cast of “Dance Moms” presumably had their minds blown. Additionally, the future applicants for Juilliard’s class of 2029 drama department are relived to know that they may potentially have one less competitor.

As for Suri, no word on how she feels about controlling her own destiny. She’s too busy playing with the new $7 million Gulfstream jet that her dad bought her this week, according to the Huffington Post.

Kids these days…