Bradley Cooper’s Perm Is The Week’s Most Important News

By Amelia Mularz

As movie fans, we’ve gotten used to seeing stars step out in varying states of transformation for roles. Recently we’ve seen Christian Bale with a comb-over and Reese Witherspoon as a brunette. But nothing could’ve prepared us for Bradley Cooper’s new look, which he debuted this week.

A perm.

Yes, a real honest-to-goodness perm. The highly processed, gel-smothered, crunchy-to-the-touch hairstyle that ranked supreme in the 1980s is back and living on the head of the Sexiest Man Alive. Spotted on the set of a new David O. Russell film, Bradley Cooper borrowed a page from adolescent girls of yesteryear and went full-fledged fake curly.

But the part that’s truly shocking about the resurgence of the perm is that…well, it actually looks kinda good. Even in the heyday of big hair, experts would agree that a permanent (as it’s scientifically known) only looked attractive on approximately 1 out of every 500 people (plus the entire cast of “Heathers”).

Which leads us to believe that Bradley Cooper is follicle-ly gifted. To test this hypothesis, we suggest that the Hangover star submit to rigorous, (and yes, totally unnecessary) testing to see what other throwback styles he can pull off. Might we suggest the following:

David Bowie’s Goblin King Mullet from “Labyrinth” – The spiky mullet made sense when paired with excessive eyeshadow and a penchant for kidnapping children.

Christian Slater’s Skater Coif from “Gleaming the Cube” – Ok, this is really just the Labyrinth look with the bottom snipped off.

Christopher Reid’s Eraserhead from “House Party” – Coop’s gonna need lots and lots of hairspray for this one.

Johnny Depp’s Bad Boy Bouffant from “Cry-Baby” – That single tendril hanging over the eyes is really the masculine version of bangs.

Kevin Bacon’s Finger-in-an-Outlet Style from “Footloose” – He just wanted to DANCE! You can literally see that energy radiating from Bacon’s scalp.