Kellan Lutz’s ‘Tatua': The Five Essential Magical Tattoos

If you weren’t paying close attention to movie news today, you may have missed the single greatest casting scoop in a very long time and the most interesting Kellan Lutz-related news ever.

Deadline had the exclusive on a brand new project from the “Twilight” star and comic book creators Paul Jenkins and Rob Prior. “Tatua” is an indie film with a very, very high concept. It tells the story of a man (Lutz) who has a special kind of blood that allows him to get powerful tattoos. These tattoos can be pulled off of his body and used as weapons for covert assassinations.

The logline, frankly, leaves our minds racing with possible tattoos, so we decided to break it down to the five pieces of body art that are absolutely necessary for Lutz’s character.

A Banana
With a heavy payload of potassium and the possibility of some weapons-grade slipperiness, a banana is the multifunctional tool that every magically tattooed assassin requires.

A Clean T-Shirt
Given Lutz’s history with the “Twilight Saga,” it’s safe to assume that at some point he will lose his shirt, and there is no tactical advantage to showing off your abs unless you’re Schwarzenegger storming an island in a Speedo.

Robert Pattinson
It wouldn’t be the first Edward Cullen tattoo, but a magical scrawl of RPattz would help Lutz’s character infiltrate any mountain labyrinths guarded by teenage girls or middle-aged lonely people.

Tattoo Needle
What’s always the first rule of making wishes? Wish for more wishes If Lutz wants unlimited power, he should materialize his own needle, so he can keep the magical tattoo party going forever, or at least a sequel.

New “Twilight” Script
As excited as we are for “Tatua,” what Lutz needs most of all is another chance to play Emmett Cullen. You know, if the whole magic tattooed assassin thing doesn’t pan out.