‘Game Of Thrones’ Recap: ‘The Night Lands’

by Joel Hanek

After last week’s Bastard Hunt, I’ve finally been able to scrub away the seared image of Joffrey’s nauseating visage from the inside of my eyelids just in time for the second episode of the second season of “Game of Thrones,” titled “The Night Lands.”

Check out our recap past the jump!

» In “The Night Lands,” Arya makes her triumphant return to the screen and continues to cause more gender confusion than when Justin Bieber first came onto the scene. A perfect counter-part for Arya is her new partner, Gendry, the bastard of Robert Baratheon whose introduction was fleeting yet a memorable one through the eyes of Eddard Stark. The Orphan and The Bastard make a great duo, and although they are united by tragic circumstances (you know, all that murder that’s going on around Westeros) they offer some of the greatest moments of levity and humor in the show.

» Speaking of comedy within Westeros, we catch up with the sardonic Tyrion Lannister in King’s Landing trying to right some of the wrongs of his family as he retains the title of “Hand of the King” by giving the boot to Janos Slynt, the City Watchman who ordered the arrest of Eddard Stark. Tyrion replaces him with Lemmy Kilmister – I mean, Bronn. Also, remember when Tyrion told Varys, “You should taste her fish pie?” Snap.

» Back over in the desert with the Targaryen clan, I have to admit, I have no idea what’s going on but it’s a nice change of pace from all the murky backstabbing and we can focus on straight-forward Revenge-by-Dragon. Daenarys and Ser Jorah Mormont continue to lead their caravan of Dothraki through towards Westeros seeking refuse – and in an effort to do so, Dany sends out her solider Rokharo to scout. In pulling a reverse-Godfather, a horse delivers back his severed head to Dany. Things are looking pretty grim – but at least they have dragons, right?

» Theon Greyjoy, a character we were introduced to in the first episode of the series, has always seemed to be impotent and suffers from a wayward confidence. Although he was a ward of the Stark’s, he is never let into their inner-circle of trust. Once Theon returns to the Iron Islands, you really start to feel sorry for the guy. Not only does his father disrespect him, but in a ruse to trick and belittle him he also starts to round the bases with his sister. Oedipus might agree: accidental incest is the worst kind of incest. Let’s reset the “Days without Incest” calendar back to “0” and move on.

» HBO also decided that it had been too long since they had aired “Cathouse” so they decided to fulfill that void with a new pilot called “Littlefinger’s Whorehouse.”

» Finally, Jon Snow remains beyond the wall at Craster’s Sister-Daughter-Wives encampment. If you thought that killing babies was a great way to end an episode – then you’re in for a treat! Jon Snow, one of the few people in Westeros who seems to hate it when babies die, follows Old Man Craster out into the night when he discovers him with an infant son who undoubtedly is feeding it to either the White Walkers or The Beast.

Tell us what you think of the latest “Game of Thrones” episode in the comments section or on Twitter!