War Of The Five Kings: Joffrey Baratheon

Game of Thrones” returns for its second season next Sunday (April 1), bringing a big mess of a war along with it. No fewer than five individuals have crowned themselves king in the great fantasy world of Westeros, each of them with their eye on the Iron Throne. All week long, we’ll look at each of these would-be kings and catch you up on everything you need to know about them going into season two.

To kick things off, who better than the man boy currently ruling in King’s Landing?

Know Your King
You know him well by now: the cruel boy king Joffrey Baratheon. (Though he has no real claim to that last name, as you also know.) He sits upon the Iron Throne and rules King’s Landing with ruthless, reckless abandon. Despite being surrounded by very capable (and very shady) advisors, Joffrey subscribes to the great Eric Cartman’s “whatever, I do what I want” philosophy; he is the king, after all, and if he wants heads to roll, roll they shall.

Where Is He From?
Geographically, he’s King’s Landing born and bred. As to who brought him into this world, as far as the public is aware, Joffrey is the son of the late king Robert Baratheon and his queen, Cersei Lannister. In reality, we know that Joffrey is the product of Cersei’s incestuous relationship with her twin brother, the Kingslayer Jaime Lannister. As a Lannister in the purest of terms, Joff’s got lots of bad blood coursing through his veins.

The King’s Court
As the “official” king of Westeros, Joffrey has the high council of King’s Landing at his disposal: Petyr “Littlefinger” Baelish, Varys the spymaster, Grand Maester Pycelle, to name a few. He has his mother as another soundboard, though Joffrey listens to her words less and less the longer he sits on the throne. Lord Tywin Lannister is Hand of the King, but as he’s currently preoccupied combating a rebellion, the post is temporarily in the hands of Joffrey’s hated uncle, the imp Tyrion Lannister.

What Does He Do?
Why, he does as he likes. The golden-haired “Baratheon” is a tried and true professional in the cruelty department; Ned Stark would attest to that if he still had his head.

Do We Like Him?
Oh, hell no. Joffrey is easily one of the most loathsome characters in all of George R.R. Martin’s “A Song of Ice and Fire” saga. If you thought what he had done to Ned was bad, keep watching — you haven’t seen anything yet.

Tell us what you think about Joffrey in the comments section and on Twitter!