In a move three decades in the making, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone finally followed through on the promise of their intersecting action-movie careers and had their bodies surgically fused together for their upcoming 3-D sequel, “Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot a Siamese Warrior.”
At least that’s what we hoped was going on in the above photo. That, or confirmation that while Arnie and Sly’s cyborg doppelgangers have been out making movies and governing California for years, the two men have in fact been holed up in side-by-side hospital beds, recounting the glory of a time when a “Batman” movie villain could actually utter the line, “Ice to see you!”
But: no. None of this is true. Instead what we’re seeing is two sexagenarians having the time of their lives while getting their creaky bodies fixed up.
“After all the action, stunts & physical abuse shooting ’The Expendables 2′ and ’The Last Stand,’ it was time for a little tune up on my shoulder,” Schwarzenegger wrote in a post on his WhoSay page. “Look who was coincidentally waiting in line behind me for his shoulder surgery. Now we’re ready for another round of great times and action when we shoot ’The Tomb.’”
The surgeons better bring their A games, because these two — despite their arthritic limbs and the fact that they really are far too rich to still be doing their own stunts — don’t seem to be backing away from any sort of challenge. Just peep Arnie’s forehead at the end of what we assume was a fairly typical day on the “Expendables 2″ set. “Got a little banged up on set today,” he wrote on Twitter as the proud owner of a fresh scar. “Thanks to the medical staff who got me back in action an hour later!”
Yeah, so as excited as we are about their upcoming collaborations, we’re also a little worried about these two gentlemen. When we look at the hospital photo, we’re wondering why 64-year-old Schwarzenegger looks oddly like a newborn fetus. We’re wondering how long Sly’s pain meds have been dripping into his veins, ’cause that dude is looking happier than Newt Gingrich at an all-you-can-eat strip club. We’re wondering if Arnold is saying to his buddy, “One, I’m so high right now. And two, we have the best f—king lives ever, bro!”
Tell us what you think of the photo in the comments and on Twitter!