‘Mission Impossible’ In Dubai: Decoding ‘Ghost Protocol’

by Joel Hanek

MTV News reporter Josh Horowitz and producer Joel Hanek are currently in Dubai covering the world premiere of “Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol.” These are their stories.

Fact: Tom Cruise likes to make things difficult*. Upon reading the script for “Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol” and seeing that there was an intense action scene that would require Ethan Hunt to repel from a skyscraper, I can only imagine his response to director Brad Bird was: “This is perfect. No thanks, I won’t require a stuntman. Oh, and P.S., can you make that building I have to climb the tallest one in the world? You know, the Burj Khalifa in Dubai? Cool, thanks!”

Seeing that Mr. Cruise really likes to make things difficult*, one has to fly halfway around the globe just to interview the man, as the international press junket for the latest “Mission” installment is being held in Dubai, where entertainment journalists will be reminded that yes, Tom Cruise repelled the outer walls of the Burj Khalifa, the building you are in right now and yes, it’s just another reminder of why you are inadequate when compared to Tom Cruise.

Basically, our trip has been just like “Sex and the City 2,” except replace the four sexually adventurous female protagonists with two hairy nerds (I never saw “SATC 2,” but I’m guessing Carrie and Samantha didn’t reference “Robocop” several times during their travels). After an 11-hour transatlantic flight and a marathon of over-ripened movies from early summer (surprisingly overlooked? “Source Code.” And no, I wasn’t misty eyed during “The Help,” it was the change in cabin pressure. It’s science, you guys), we finally arrived in the Persian Gulf earlier this week.

When “love” could not justify Alvy Singer’s feelings for Annie Hall, he invented the word “lurve.” Perhaps a better writer could describe Dubai’s beauty, but for now I’ll chalk it up to the ineffable because 1) there wouldn’t be enough time to describe all of its wonder and splendor, 2) you probably have Google (you’re reading this on the Internet…but I’m only speculating) and 3) we have important work to do: INTERVIEW THE S–T OUT OF TOM CRUISE. And also, hopefully, geek out a little bit when costar Simon Pegg approaches.

Stay tuned for tomorrow for MTV News: Protocol: Ghost Protocol!

*: By difficult, we mean awesome!

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