The ‘Breaking Dawn’ Boyfriend Survival Guide

It began last night at midnight and will continue this weekend across the country. Millions of Twilight fans will travel in droves to see “Breaking Dawn – Part 1,” and, inevitably, among those moviegoers will be thousands of reluctant boyfriends and husbands, dragged along to appease their eager significant vampire-obsessed other.

Our friends over at NextMovie put together a helpful “Twilight” guide for dudes that will help you prep for the movie, but once you’re in the theater, it’s a whole other monster. Here are some survival tips for making it through “Breaking Dawn – Part 1″ alive.

Agree With Stuff
At least in my experience, a Twi-hard’s stance on certain Twilight-related issues is an essential part of who they are as people and not open to discussion, like your usual Chipotle order. Are you Team Edward or Team Jacob? What did you think about the dress? These will ultimately come up during and after any screening of the film, so your best bet is to agree. Loved the dress! Hated that dress! Jacob is a nicer guy! Jacob is too whiny! Any dissent is sure to stir up emotions and won’t be worth your time, even if you have an opinion.

Enjoy What Action There Is
There are moments where you can remove the glossed-over look from your eyes and actually pay attention. A “Twilight” movie will always sneak in a little action, and “Breaking Dawn – Part 1″ is no exception. Keep an eye out for the chase scene between the wolves and the Cullens and the fight scene they share later in the film. It’s not great action, but beggars can’t be choosers.

Prepare For The Arm Grab
The one thing you have to hand “Breaking Dawn” is that it doesn’t pull punches with the infamous birth scene, which is mostly sound effects and is pretty messed up. No matter how resolved your Twilight fan is, he or she will probably grab you for cover. Open yourself to this, and you can be the big man that saved your loved one from the disturbing images on the screen.

They’ll Owe You One
We still live in a democracy after all, and in the U.S. of A., if you’re forced to see a “Twilight” movie, you get to choose any ridiculously testosterone-fueled epic as your next date movie. You must choose wisely though. Next year is full of movies you wouldn’t get to see as a couple otherwise, from “Dark Knight Rises” and “Avengers” to “The Hobbit.” Do your research, and make it count.

What are you tips for surviving “Breaking Dawn – Part 1″? Let us know in the comments below and on Twitter!