‘Point Break’ Rides Wave As Today’s Sick Day Stash!

by Brian Phares

Call them “cult classics.” “Guilty pleasures.” “Comfort movies.” We all have a mental rolodex of flicks that may not be terribly popular but, for one reason or another, they resonate in a very special way. Maybe you saw it at the right moment. Maybe you just see gold where everyone else sees feces. Whatever the case, these are the special favorites that you keep stashed away for sick days. These are some of ours.

Oh Keanu Reeves, you truly are the king of awesome stunts. From attempting to disarm a bomb under a bus all while riding a crazy four wheeled cart that inevitably gets run over, to warping the very fabric of a virtual reality meant to enslave humans just to dodge a few bullets, is there anything you can’t do?

There is one movie, however, that packs your greatest stunt of all time, and now that it’s officially being remade, I have no choice but to reminisce about one of the greatest cheesy ’90s action movies ever made. That movie, of course, is “Point Break.”

Imagine this plot for a moment: A gang of bank robbers are suspected of actually being surfers, so former Ohio State quarterback turned FBI agent Johnny Utah is dispatched to learn how to surf and apprehend them. There’s a few things I’d like to point (break) out here: Keanu Reeves is named Johnny Utah, and since when does being good at football translate to being even marginally okay at surfing? The point (break!!) is, it doesn’t matter. Cast all doubts aside and enjoy the long, epic ride on one massive wave of cheeseball.

Add to the mix Gary Busey as Utah’s partner Angelo Pappas (another ridiculous name), and Patrick Swayze playing the intrepid surfer, leader of bank robbers, and ultimately Utah’s mentor, Bodhi, and you have yourself a recipe for some delicious corn chowdah.

One of the great things about this movie is that Utah manages to crack the case by adeptly identifying a grown man’s butt. That’s right, Utah observes one of the gang of surfers mooning people constantly, and after a long night of examining old bank robbery footage, he espies one of the robbers flashing his manly tush to the camera. Let it be known that Keanu never forgets a pair of cheeks, ever.

Needless to say, the movie culminates in perhaps the greatest skydiving gun battle ever created, one which the Myth Busters themselves proved to be completely impossible, so you know it’s good. Utah finds himself confronting Bodhi in a plane as he and only one member of their bank robbing crew, the Ex-Presidents (aptly named because they wear presidents masks, duh) remain. Lo and behold, there’s only two parachutes for the three of them, so of course Keanu is left behind and forced to jump after them in order to avoid being framed for their crimes. What ensues can only be described as pure gold, and you are better off seeing it to believe it.

I won’t spoil the ending for you, but let’s just say it’s the ride of a lifetime. As for the remake, I honestly don’t see how the original can be topped, unless Academy Award winner Kathryn Bigelow takes up the helm once more to deliver us the perfect wave of adrenaline pumping action.

Tell us what you think of the “Point Break” remake in the comments section and on Twitter!