‘Transformers: Dark Of The Moon’ In Moscow: Linkin Park And The Green Carpet

MTV Movies Managing Editor Josh Horowitz is currently traveling in Moscow, but this isn’t any ordinary excursion—it’s more than meets the eye, as he braves cultural confusion and borscht by the bowlful in an effort to cover the world premiere of “Transformers: Dark of the Moon” in Russia. These are his stories.

Much like the film I’m here to cover, yesterday was awash in loud colorful sensory concussions. But it didn’t start that way. It started with me wide awake at 3 in the morning watching Piers Morgan on one of the few English language stations in my hotel room. However once the afternoon came around events more than made up for the mundane beginnings.

Last night was a double header of promotional ambition. Paramount certainly pulled out all the stops for their summer juggernaut, “Transformers: Dark of the Moon.” It kicked off with an opening night red carpet at the Moscow Film Festival. Moscow has a film festival? Sure, why not. And so the dozens of journalists Paramount assembled from around the globe boarded glorified school buses from our posh hotel to head to the green carpet for the big gala.

I assumed my plum window seat literally rubbing legs up to Entertainment Tonight’s Mark Steines. I know… what do you say to that? There’s something endlessly fascinating to me about grown men and women assembling on a bus in a foreign land, not really knowing where we’re going or what the hell we’re doing. We all reverted back to our nine year old selves until the bus driver told us to scram or whatever the Russian equivalent of that might be.

And there we were on the green carpet. Why green? Nobody knew. Perhaps Moscow doesn’t want to embrace its “red” history anymore? Perhaps Moscovites just really love those “Shrek” movies. It’s unclear at this time. As far as red carpets go it was a typically chaotic mess. Just so you know, red carpet duty is just about the worst gig for an entertainment reporter. Again, I fully acknowledge the cool position we’re in in the first place BUT there’s nothing particularly fun about a carpet. There’s no space. You’re fighting with crews on either side of you for elbow room (during my interview with John Malkovich I kind of lost it with a journalist next to me who kept sticking a ginormous mic into our shot) and no one is really in the right frame of mind for anything resembling a substantive chat. That being said, the carpet was filled with wonderful moments and no, there’s no real substance to any of this. This is, as we call it, color:

–After I did an hour long interview with Megan Fox a couple years ago, I decided she was all kinds of awesome. Her replacement, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, is pretty cool herself. The fact that she faux-flirted with me helped. As did her lack of pants. I am a guy. Sue me.

Shia LaBeouf was obsessed with my tie. To be fair, it’s a controversial one as it appears to be two different patterns. Long story. But Shia liked it. So there, haters.

–I should never interview Josh Duhamel when I’m in the same shot with him. I appear to be a malformed hobbit in his proximity.

–I really need to learn which member of Linkin Park is which. I’m not perfect, ok?

Tyrese appeared to literally be ready to cry knowing his Transformers time might be at an end.

That was the carpet in a nutshell. Feels like you were there, right? But wait, there’s more! I promised you a doubleheader and the main event was yet to come. After another demeaning bus ride we found ourselves in Red Square for a huge free Linkin Park concert (perennial soundtrack contributors to the franchise).

I confess I’m not an expert in all things Linkin Park (see admission above) but it was an undeniable pinch-me experience. There we were on a platform watching thousands eat up the music. At one point I glanced to my right and made eye contact with Shia. He just shook his head at me, gesturing to the madness behind him, and said, “crazy, right?!?”