Nick Swardson Abuses Watermelons & Other ’30 Minutes’ Lessons

“We’re not terrorists!”

So promised Nick Swardson on the set of “30 Minutes or Less,” as he and costar Danny McBride attempted to explain what they were doing, just minutes earlier, in a junk yard in Grand Rapids, Michigan, a crossbow in one of their hands and a detonator in another. Take after take, they blew up watermelons with some homebrewed explosives and yelled f-bomb-laden tough talk.

No, terrorists they are not — just misguided fellows with an outlandish idea: kidnap a pizza delivery boy, strap a bomb to his chest and make him rob a bank. And that, in an action-comedy nutshell, is the plot of “30 Minutes,” the Ruben Fleischer-directed flick that hits theaters on August 12.

“They’re against terrorists. I mean, would you invite these guys over to your house with your family? Probably not,” McBride explained. “They just want to be loved. Whether it takes a bomb or bank robbery to get there.”

Jesse Eisenberg plays the unlucky delivery dude sucked into this ludicrous plot. He, in turn, ropes an old buddy, played by Aziz Ansari, into the scheme. The results, as an early screening this month during MTV News’ Sneak Peek Week makes clear, are hilarious.

While Swardson and McBride’s characters aren’t silly enough to rob a bank themselves, their real life counterparts are not as discerning. “Just point to the bank,” Swardson said.

“Give me a good mask and a loaded weapon, I’m on,” McBride added.

Swardson: “And some Viagra. It’s for me.”

McBride: “I don’t need the Viagra. But I understand why Nick does. He likes to be hard. I can just be hard naturally.”

Swardson: “I like to be hard physically and I like to be hard intimidatingly.”

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