Thankfully someone came to their senses and ditched the pervy-looking "5nal Destination" title (don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about), and now we can focus on all the badass death scenes that surely await the new victims of "Final Destination 5." In fact, we were so excited to see a group of kids tortured by Death and shuffle off this mortal coil in the most horrifying of ways, that we made a list of five of the most hair-raising Death teasers in the new trailer.
This time around, a group of suspension bridge collapse survivors have to tango with the Grim Reaper, and as usual, they won't have an easy time of it. Between the eye gore and sharp things that want to slice and dice, it's not looking pretty. Check out the massacre after the jump.
LASIK Surgery Gone Wrong
Looks like the series is taking a cue from the ultraviolence in "A Clockwork Orange" by using a nasty-looking metal eye-claw to pry open its victim's peeper before Death lasers the hell out of her face. At least it looks like the teddy bear gets to live!
Burning Bridges With Death
We know that Death's revenge surrounds the survivors of a suspension bridge disaster, and we get a good peek at the carnage in the trailer. There are cars sliding off the collapsed bridge into the water like dominos, so it appears that even if you do manage to leap to safety or outrun the crumbling structure – rapidly vanishing a mere two steps behind you – and jump into the water, you'll be crushed by a giant truck landing on your head.
Black Goo is Never Good
Some poor guy manages to survive the bridge collapsing and finds himself hanging onto the broken concrete for dear life, hovering thousands of feet in the air. That is, until a steaming mass of scalding black oil rains down on him and deep-fries him to death.
A gymnast is doing her thing on a balance beam, but is unaware of a rusty screw that has made a perfect dismount – pointy side up – from a broken fan in the ceiling (that is bound to slice her down the middle when it finally falls). When the best fate you can hope for is having some rusty metal slice your hands and feet like butter, things aren't looking so hot for you.
Many people are afraid of needles and consider acupuncture some form of medieval torture. For this human pincushion, that's certainly the case. After being poked with long, skinny needles all over the front of his body, he falls down on on top of them when his table collapses. "Ouch" doesn't do it justice.
Tony Todd, hullo! The creepy "Candyman" actor makes a return to the series as William Bludworth, the morbid mortician who schools all the survivors on the rules of Death. It looks like he's donning a coroner's jacket for the film – when he's not busy acting all stalkery and wielding a knife.
What do you think of the "Final Destination 5" trailer? Tell us in the comments section and on Twitter!