On April 19, 2011, the global defense system known as Skynet became self-aware. The stunningly intelligent network gave mankind (and stoners) a reprieve on 4/20, but today marks the beginning of the end.
That’s right — it’s Judgment Day.
Don’t say we didn’t warn you: after multiple posts yesterday providing tips on how to survive the looming “Terminator” apocalypse and reasons why our new robot overlords might not be so bad, Skynet has officially launched its all-out offensive on mankind**. Nuclear warheads are firing off from and destroying every corner of the world as far as the eye can see, and it would appear that our ultimate destruction is imminent.
And it’s all the fault of one man: Cyberdyne Systems engineer Miles Dyson.
As you’re undoubtedly already aware, Dyson was a driving force behind the development of Skynet, directly leading to the global catastrophe that we’re suffering through today. If only that wimpy brat John Connor hadn’t convinced his mother to spare Dyson’s life all those years ago, maybe we all wouldn’t be on the brink of extinction. Maybe.
“We’re facing a tsunami, but in nuclear terms,” Dyson told MTV News in an exclusive Skype chat from his home in Vancouver, currently safe from Skynet’s wrath. “There’s really nothing else to say except, well, be safe.”
“Listen, I feel no more guilt than Einstein might have felt about [his role in developing] nuclear bombs,” he added, disavowing any responsibility for today’s events. “Science is science is science. I came into this for a lot of reasons — helping mankind, improving the quality of mankind, not for any of this.”
Maybe it’s not your fault, Miles, but we need somebody to blame. By the way… aren’t you supposed to be dead?
More news on the current Skynet situation as it becomes available. In the meantime, start your survival networking by heading to the comments section and hitting us up on Twitter.
(** … Alright, maybe none of this is true, but we’ll take any excuse to get Joe Morton back in the role of Miles Dyson, even if it means the destruction of humanity!)