By Sterling Wong
Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all? As previously reported on this blog, audiences can look forward to competing adaptations of the classic fairytale Snow White.
There’s "Snow White and the Huntsmen," with Charlize Theron as the Evil Queen, and also "The Brothers Grimm: Snow White," where Deadline pretty much confirms that Julia Roberts will inhabit the same role. Looks like we’ve got a face-off between two of Hollywood’s premiere A-list actresses!
We thought we’d place the two stars side by side to see who is a better fit for the requirements of the role and who will emerge as the true Evil Queen. May the best woman win!
WHO BREWS THE BEST POTION?
This is probably the most important attribute the Evil Queen must possess. After all, the Queen’s central task of the movie is to produce the fabled poison apple. Yes, the Evil Queen needs a domestic edge!
Charlize's Score: 7/10
Early in her career, before she got Oscar glory, Charlize played a slew of ‘girlfriend to male lead’-type of roles. While those may not have been the greatest stretch of her acting abilities, it may have prepared her well to look convincing holding a ladle or two.
Julia's Score: 9/10
Three words sum up the case for Julia in this category: "Eat, Pray, Love." Okay, maybe it’s just one: Eat! The star had audiences (including yours truly) salivating as she ate her way across Italy as part of a self-discovery journey onscreen last summer as Elizabeth Gilbert. Using the same skills, we're sure she’ll be able to make the apple looked delectably fatal.
WHO IS MORE REGAL?
The mirror might think Snow White is fairer, but the Evil Queen is no slouch in the looks department. Of course, she must also look suitably regal, as befitting the status of the queen of the land. Here, let's compare Charlize and Julia’s beauty ads, because what says regal more than a dewy, photoshopped ad for a big-name beauty brand?
Julia's Score: 7/10
Julia tones down her trademark megawatt smile for a subtle, confident grin in this Lancome ad. We like the understated classiness, but the photo just looks a tad too retouched.
Charlize's Score: 10/10
Charlize looks every inch the icy blonde queen in this Dior ad, and if she can make that awkward pose with the arm over her right shoulder look effortless, she can easily embody the Evil Queen’s frosty haughtiness.
WHO HAS THE BETTER EVIL LAUGH?
Mike Myers might have turned it into a parody with Dr. Evil in the "Austin Powers" series, but it is an enduring movie trope that every self-respecting evil figure needs an iconic laugh, so as to better gloat when they successfully pull off their devious schemes. The Evil Queen will surely need one when she learns that Snow White has eaten the poisoned apple.
Julia: 10/10; Charlize: 6/10
But do we even need to question this? Julia built her career on the laugh. No contest here!
WHO CAN GET UGLIER?
It’s a curse for pretty female actresses that they have to go ‘ugly’ to get credibility, and both Charlize and Julia have gone down this route before, to varying degrees of success. It’s just as well in this case because the Evil Queen obviously transforms herself into an ugly hag to offer the poisoned apple to trusting Snow White.
Julia's Score: 6/10
Julia was on a roll in the early 90s, with hit after hit, and then she decided to go ‘plain’ in "Mary Reily," an alternate adaptation of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde that wasn't critically or commercially successful. Clearly, audiences prefer their Julia in glamorous, full-blown movie star mode, and we certainly can't blame them!
Charlize's Score: 10/10
Charlize, on the other hand, rose to the Hollywood A-list thanks to her role as serial killer Aileen Wuornos, in which she shaved her eyebrows and turned into an unrecognizable, well, monster. Charlize swept the awards circuit that year, nabbing the coveted Oscar golden statuette in the process. In a nutshell, no one can do ugly like Charlize can, and we mean that in the nicest possible way.
THE GRAND TOTAL:
Julia Roberts: 32/40
Charlize Theron: 33/40
There you have it! According to our (sorta) totally official and credible analysis, Charlize Theron emerges as the true Evil Queen in a closely contested race. Dismay not, Julia, for this is only the preliminary showdown. You still have time to prove me wrong when the movies are released!
Do you think Charlize Theron or Julia Roberts will be a better Evil Queen? Give us your thoughts in the comments section and on Twitter!