Apparently today is the day for weird film-to-Broadway news. First up is "Sister Act," which EW.com says is primed to take its act to the Great White Way beginning April 20, 2011. This news is somewhat understandable, as the 1992 film starring Whoopi Goldberg was a box-office hit, and a musical adaptation is already enjoying a lucrative run in London's West End.
On the stranger end of the stick, Deadline has confirmed that a revival of "Carrie" the musical is in the works. No, not Carrie as in the "Sex and the City" leading lady (which would actually make some sense), but Carrie as in the vengeful main character of Stephen King's book, it's acclaimed 1976 movie adaptation and its not-so-acclaimed 1988 Broadway musical version (which lost $8 million dollars in its short run).
Add that to the planned "Little Miss Sunshine" musical that was announced over the summer, the confirmed Julie Taymor "Spider-man" musical and even a Broadway version of "The Notebook," and we've got a really random array of films making their way to Broadway and not enough musicals crossing over into Hollywood (I'm looking at you, "Wicked"). Here are some films that we hope never get the musical treatment.
Six foot blue aliens singing mournful hymns after the loss of Hometree? Thanks, but no thanks. "Avatar" is the highest grossing film of all time, and could probably be done on Broadway a la "The Lion King," but I think the world would be better off if no one tried.
"The Bourne Identity"
Has there ever been a fugitive assassin Broadway musical before? Probably not, but "The Bourne Identity" should not be the first. Jason Bourne is terrifying with his deadly accuracy and need for revenge, but what would he be if he broke out into song every time things got tense? A cast member on "Glee," that's what.
Say what you will about this British ensemble romantic comedy (I love it), but it has plenty of the elements necessary for a musical: that awesome song-and-dance sequence at the end, the intertwined story lines of several lead characters, and the all-around feel good vibe. But "Love Actually" should just maintain its legacy as one of the best ensemble rom-com films out there.
Can't you just picture Frank Costello, Colin Sullivan and Billy Costigan harmonizing together about each of their sinister motivations during a climactic moment in a "The Departed" musical, much like the "Tonight" reprise at the end of act one in "West Side Story"? We can, but we'd prefer not to.
"Pirates of the Caribbean"
If this ever happened, it would have to be the first musical based on a film based on an amusement park ride ever created. Yes, "The Pirates of Penzance" has been a successful Broadway musical that follows pirates, but let's just leave it at that. They're having enough trouble finally getting the fourth film to the big screen, and what would a "Pirates of the Caribbean" musical be without Johnny Depp anyways?
No, wait, nevermind. "Moulin Rouge" should definitely be made into a musical. Who out there is working on a revival on "Carrie" instead of getting this classic film musical to Broadway?
Would you go see "Sister Act," "Carrie" and "Little Miss Sunshine" on Broadway?