An ‘Anchorman’ Stage Play?! MTV Unearths The Musical Numbers From A Fictional Playbill!

Sadly, it seems that an “Anchorman” sequel is not to be. Ron Burgundy and his news team compadres were hoping for another big screen outing, but due to financial constraints, Paramount and director Adam McKay were never able to see eye-to-eye on making the film happen.

But even sadder than the death of the “Anchorman” sequel is the death of a proposed “Anchorman” musical. McKay told CHUD that he was hoping to get a musical version off the ground for a limited four month run on Broadway prior to filming on the sequel. Alas, it’s not going to happen now.

That’s not to say that the musical wasn’t close to a reality, however. In fact, we’ve unearthed this legendary list of music numbers that very nearly wound up in the proposed “Anchorman” musical*, and as you can imagine, hilarity was bound to ensue. Check out the song titles after the jump!


– “News Team: Assemble” … Ron Burgundy, Brian Fantana, Champ Kind, Brick Tamland, Ensemble
– “Meet Ms. Corningstone (It’s Science, Really)” … Ron, Ed Harken, Veronica Corningstone, News Team
– “The Whale’s Vagina” … Ron, Veronica
– “I Dabble (In Jazz Flute)” … Ron
– “We’re Going (Going) Back (Back) To Pleasureland” … Ron, Veronica, Ensemble
– “Afternoon Delight” … Ron, Brian, Champ, Brick
– “Now This Is Happening” … Biker, Ron, Baxter
– “Glass Cage of Emotion” … Ron, Brian, Veronica, Ensemble
– “Meet Your New Co-Anchor” … Ed, Veronica
– “Glass Cage of Emotion (reprise)” … Ron

– “Clash of the Co-Hosts” … Ron, Veronica, Brian, Champ, Brick, Ensemble
– “War of the News Rooms (I Stabbed A Guy With A Trident)” … Ron, Wes Mantooth, Various News Teams
– “Go F— Yourself, San Diego” … Ron, Veronica
– “Milk, And Other Bad Choices” … Ron
– “Lean Closer” … Veronica, Wes Mantooth
– “News Team: Assemble (reprise) / We Go Into The Bear Pit” … Ron, Brian, Champ, Brick
– “Friend to the Bear People (Man’s Best Friend)” … Baxter, Ron, Ensemble
– “You Stay Classy, Earth” … Ron, Veronica
– “Afternoon Delight (reprise)” … Ensemble

* = Okay, so this isn’t really a real track list. But seriously, an “Anchorman” musical? Where’s the petition to make that thing happen?

Would you have seen an “Anchorman” musical? Lament the loss in the comments section and on Twitter!