When director Matthew Vaughn’s “Kick-Ass” smashes its way into theaters this weekend, you’re bound to notice Hit-Girl, the unassuming little girl played by Chloe Moretz — who just so happens to be one of the most ruthlessly trained killers New York City has to offer. She also happens to have one of the filthiest mouths I’ve ever seen from any kid, fictional or otherwise.
But she’s not the only swear-happy youth on the cinematic streets. While Hit-Girl is the current reigning queen of vulgarity, here are a few other fictional kids sure to make your ears bleed with naughty language.
John Connor: The future leader of mankind wasn’t exactly the most eloquent kid on the block back in 1991. Edward Furlong’s feature film debut as John Connor in “Terminator 2: Judgment Day” remains the most memorable take on the character thanks largely to his creative cursing. Think Bart Simpson — just dirtier and, well, not a cartoon.
Memorable Curse: “Later, d–kwad!”
Henry Evans: Swearing should be the least of your concerns when it comes to Henry Evans, the murderous little bastard at the center of “The Good Son.” Still, there’s nothing quite like watching the adorable little boy from “Home Alone” deliver one of the most direct and simultaneously astonishing curses in little kid history.
Memorable Curse: “Hey, Mark — don’t f–k with me.”
Mathilda Lando: It’s no coincidence that Chloe Moretz is getting compared to Natalie Portman’s young turn as Mathilda in “Léon.” While not quite as vulgar as Hit-Girl, Mathilda’s foul mouth was justified due to the recent trauma of losing her entire family in one murderous swoop. That doesn’t make her cursing any easier on the ears, of course.
Memorable Curse: “I wanna kill those sons of b—-es and blow their f—ing heads off!”
Eric Cartman: South Park’s meanest little brat — alright, he’s a pretty big brat — has an unfair advantage since he’s a cartoon character voiced by an adult, but how can you not acknowledge Eric Cartman’s potty mouth? I mean, the kid underwent forced surgery to correct his bad language — that fact alone should tell you everything you need to know.
Memorable Curse: Sorry, guys. No amount of censorship could make a Cartman curse fit for print — not even on the Internet.
Ronnie Shields: In terms of actual kids that can give Chloe Moretz’s foul mouth a run for its money, Bobb’e J. Thompson takes the prize for his turn as Ronnie Shields in “Role Models.” Ronnie delivers some of the most ruthless insults I’ve ever heard on film from kids and adults alike. Like all children, Ronnie has a soft side — it just so happens to be buried under a large pile of profanity.
Memorable Curse: “My language is English, and this motherf–ker tried to grab my junk!”
Discuss your favorite foul-mouthed movie kids in the comments and on Twitter!