Sylvester Stallone And Denise Richards Nominated For Razzies Equivalent, The Golden Kela Awards

Sylvester Stallone has been nominated for 29 Razzie awards, dishonoring his career as an actor, director and screenwriter. Of those, he’s “won” ten, including Worst Actor of the Decade (1980s) and Worst Actor of the Century (20th). Now he’s expanding his reach to Indian cinema, having appeared as himself in a recent Bollywood production titled “Kambakkht Ishq” (aka “Incredible Love” or “Damn Love”), which has earned eight nominations, including one for Worst Film, for that film industry’s equivalent of the Razzies, the Golden Kela Awards.

Also appearing in the same film, about an Indian stuntman in Hollywood, is Denise Richards, who received a Worst Supporting Actress Razzie for “The World is Not Enough” (she was also nominated with Pierce Brosnan for Worst Screen Couple after that James Bond installment). It would seem the two Razzie vets are mucking things up in Bollywood now. Together, they are nominated for something called the “Baawra ho gaya hai ke Award,” which The Hollywood Reporter loosely translates as the “Have You Lost It? Award.”

Another example of Hollywood pollution includes Warner Bros.’ foray into Bollywood production, “Chandni Chowk To China” (aka “Made in China”), which is the next most dishonored film, with seven Kela nominations. “Blue,” an extremely expensive flop in India, features Kylie Minogue, who sings the Kela-nominated song “Chiggy Wiggy,” composed by Oscar-winner A.R. Rahman with “atrocious lyrics” by Abbas Tyrewala. Though she’s not part of Hollywood necessarily, the Australian pop star does represent the overall infiltration of the West upon Indian cinema.

Ironically titled “Most Original Story,” a sarcastically named category “honoring” the worst remake includes nominees “Aao Wish Karein” (based on “Big”), “Dil Bole Hadippa!” (based on “She’s the Man,” which was based on Shakespeare’s “Twelfth Night”), “Dhoondte Reh Jaaoge” (based on “The Producers”), “Daddy Cool” (based on the British film “Death at a Funeral”) and “Love Aaj Kal” (based on Hou Hsiao-Hsien’s “3 Times”).

I’ll admit to having seen one of the films nominated for a Kela (which is Hindi for banana, referencing the Razzies’ official name, the Golden Raspberry Awards), and I’ll confirm that it is quite ridiculous, though a very guilty pleasure. “Paa,” which stars 67-year-old Bollywood legend Amitabh Bachchan — the actor whose autograph is coveted by little excrement-covered Jamal in “Slumdog Millionare” — as a 12-year-old boy with Progeria and Abishek Bachchan as a politician who may be the kid’s father, is like a warped cross between the Robin Williams movie “Jack” and “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.” The real-life father and son (reversed onscreen) are deservedly up for “Worst Pair.”

If you’ve seen any of these films and would like to participate in (dis)honoring them, vote for the “winners” here. The awards will be presented in a ceremony in Delhi on March 12, hosted by MTV India VJ Cyrus Broacha

Have you seen any Bollywood films? Do these Kela nominees make you curious about bad Indian cinema? Or about good Indian cinema?