Brittany Murphy And Alicia Silverstone Are ‘Clueless’ In Today’s Sick Day Stash

Call them “cult classics.” “Guilty pleasures.” “Comfort movies.” We all have a mental rolodex of flicks that may not be terribly popular but, for one reason or another, they resonate in a very special way. Maybe you saw it at the right moment. Maybe you just see gold where everyone else sees feces. Whatever the case, these are the special favorites that you keep stashed away for sick days. Here are some of ours.

The choice sleepover movie in the mid-90’s was “Clueless.” With a tagline like “Sex. Clothes. Popularity. Is there a problem here?” the answer was clearly no. It was witty. Funny. Fashionable. Hip. Awesome. Very, very awesome.

The plot goes like this (I’m a little ashamed for those who haven’t seen the flick and need a synopsis but…): A Beverly Hills rich girl, Cher Horowitz (played brilliantly by Alicia Silverstone) and her pal, the sassy Dionne (played by Stacey Dash) look to turn their normally shallow selves around when they remake the East Coast new girl, Tai (played equally brilliantly by the late Brittany Murphy). Along the way, Elton falls for Cher when he should be falling for Tai, Cher falls for her ex-step brother Josh (who didn’t want to date Paul Rudd then? He was such a BALDWIN!) after she falls for a gay guy. The crew is rounded out by Dionne’s boy, Murray (Donald Faison), and supreme mean girl, Amber (Elisa Donovan).

If that’s not enough, Cher is also trying to get two lonely teachers to fall in love. And the Mighty Mighty Bosstones make an appearance, paving the way for ska bands to make appearances in all teen flicks moving forward into infinity (who could forget Save Ferris’ cameo in “10 Things I Hate About You”?).

Anyways… back to “Clueless.” The flick became more than just a film. It was a phenomenon. Stores in the mall started selling pens with fur just because Cher Horowitz had one. I had to go out and buy one. Or five. Yes, Cher is vapid and, well, clueless, but she also means well, is surrounded by good looking people, money and a choice wardrobe. Plus, without the flick I wouldn’t be able to use the words “Baldwin,” “Betty,” and “Monet” in ways they never were intended to be used. And if you don’t know what I mean, look it up. Plus, I hadn’t read “Hamlet” yet when I saw the movie (I was in middle school) and still I learned all about Shakespeare. See? “Clueless” is educational too!

Josh’s Girlfriend Heather: It’s just like Hamlet said, “To thine own self be true.”
Cher: Hamlet didn’t say that.
Josh’s Girlfriend Heather: I think I remember Hamlet accurately.
Cher: Well, I remember Mel Gibson accurately, and he didn’t say that. That Polonius guy did.

Indeed, Cher. Indeed.