Call them "cult classics." "Guilty pleasures." "Comfort movies." We all have a mental rolodex of flicks that may not be terribly popular but, for one reason or another, they resonate in a very special way. Maybe you saw it at the right moment. Maybe you just see gold where everyone else sees feces. Whatever the case, these are the special favorites that you keep stashed away for sick days. Here are some of ours.
Today we have a Sick Day Stash first. Last week, MTV's Rya Backer sang the praises of '90s classic "Mrs. Doubtfire" to the heavens. She so enjoyed the experience of spewing praise at one of her favorite movies that she volunteered to step up again this week and bare her love for "Wayne's World." That's all I've got to say. Take it away, Rya!
So last week, I ran my mouth about "Mrs. Doubtfire," the movie that makes me happier than almost anything else in the world. I love three other movies just as much: “Wayne’s World,” and two other cinematic epics that will be revealed on future Wednesdays.
The reason we’re talking about “Wayne’s World” (NOT “Wayne’s World 2,” or as I like to call it, “Yawnstock”) is because a few of my very fortunate co-workers are in Aurora, Illinois -- or, as Wayne Campbell refers to it in the first five minutes of the 1992 SNL spin-off, “a suburb of Chicago. Excellent.” -– for some vampire movie. Aurora is also home to such landmarks as The Gasworks, Stan Mikita’s Donuts and… well, yeah, most everything else happens in Chicago or Milwaukee. Except at the very end, when there’s that scene in Hawaii.
I can’t even try to summarize this movie without getting wordy, because it’s so good. Every time you watch it, you discover something great and ahead of its time. Basically, two guys -- Wayne (Mike Myers) and Garth (Dana Carvey) -- have an awesome public access show, Wayne falls in love with the lead singer of Crucial Taunt (Tia Carrere), Wayne and Garth sell their show to this network a--hat who’s also into the girl Wayne likes, Wayne and Garth meet Alice Cooper, Wayne and Garth sell out, Wayne and Garth lose their sponsor after one airing, Wayne pleads for Frankie Sharp of Sharp Records to sign Crucial Taunt… and then there are three separate endings, so I really can’t tell you how the story concludes. Moving along!
I saw this movie so many times on VHS that I wore out a copy. I found "Wayne's World" at an impressionable age, and I don’t think I’d be the person I am today if I hadn’t watched it before school/day camp every morning. You should watch it soon with your BFF and repeat all of the catchphrases all the time. Everyone will think you’re the funniest person ever. Nobody will find it annoying. Promise!*
Here are some of the classic one-liners, devoid of all context:
- “I don’t own a gun, let alone many guns that would necessitate an entire rack.”
- “Ribbed for her pleasure… eeeeew.”
- “But you and I both know there is no film in this cam-mer-raaa.”
- “Thanks, I like to play.”
- “You know, Wayne, if you’re not careful, you’re gonna lose me.”
- “If you’re gonna spew, spew into this.”
- “So it’s not just a clever name.”
- “I NEVER LEARNED TO READ.”
- “It sucks as it cuts.”
- “Does this guy know how to party or what?”
- “I once thought I had mono for an entire year; turns out I was just really bored.”
- “Listen, man, I’m not going to jail for you or for anybody.”
- “College… and the 'Police Academy' movies.”
- “It's like a new pair of underwear. At first it's constrictive, but after a while it becomes a part of you.”
- “Campbell, you learned how to say I look pretty in Cantonese!”
- “I’m in… Delaware.”
- “Come to the place where the games are played, it’s fun, it’s chill, it’s Noah’s Arcade!”
- “THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID.”
I just thought of all of those in less than five minutes. There are approximately 99 squillion other, better quotes.
* - Not!