‘G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra’ Toyage Descends On MTV News!

A big, imposing box arrived in the mail a little while ago. Actually, the box that arrived wasn’t so imposing; it was just your basic brown cardboard number with a few additional flourishes. The box inside that box is the imposing one, complete with high security markings and a stylish logo for “G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra.” See here:

In case the title didn’t already give away what we found inside said box, it’s toys. “Rise of Cobra” toys. Lots of ’em. Action figures. Vehicles. 12″ Snakes Eyes and Storm Shadow dolls, complete with noise-making buttons. So yes… toys. Keep reading to see them all.

The open box didn’t immediately reveal its secrets either. Lots of colorful artwork, but the plastic goodness remained buried below:

Now here we go. The promised toys. For your perusal:

The Night Raven was without a doubt my favorite G.I. Joe toy from back in the day. The jet itself was modeled after the slick-looking real-life SR-71 Blackbird and the toy included a second mini-jet that rode on its back. I can’t say I’m flipping out over this redesign, but it still summons up many fond childhood memories.

Snake Eyes in a trench. Sweet. No one does vehicles like G.I. Joe. You can’t really see it in the photo, but the Mole Pod actually looks pretty cool.

Now this is what I’m talking about. A total throwback to the original G.I. Joe dolls, the ones that predate the cartoons. Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow, ready to trade blows, in their full, foot-high glory. Plus, they both have chest-mounted button that make NOISE!

Here it is, the ultimate showdown. Duke vs. Cobra Commander. Who will win? My money’s on the good guys, but that’s just me. And since I know you’re dying for a closer look at Cobra Commander, here he is: