Are those wedding bells or screams? Universal and Imagine Entertainment are getting set to resurrect the 1935 horror film “Bride of Frankenstein.” The original Mrs. F was played by Elsa Lanchester, a British character actress who first appeared in silent shorts by H.G. Wells. More than eighty years later, word is that filmmakers are gunning for an actress high on sex appeal. Of course, she’s also got to be able to invite audiences into her convincing, hair-raising Crazytown—population, one fiery bridezilla.
While there’s neither a writer nor a director officially attached to the project—Neil Burger (“The Illusionist”) is in talks for both jobs—it’s never to early too speculate about which Hollywood starlet is best fit to take on the title role.
Helen Hunt: The loveable spouse from “Mad About You”? The harried, vulnerable waitress from “As Good as It Gets”? Well, yes and no. Hunt may have graduated to everywoman parts, but in the early ‘80s she appeared in an after-school special—a cheesetastic performance in which she snorts PCP, goes insane, hurls herself out a window and starts screaming like a banshee, “I’m invincible,” as she slices her arm with glass shards. Hunt can bring the crazy, and Hollywood is always in need of a reminder that women in their 40s can also bring the sexy.
Evan Rachel Wood: Which other actress has actual real-world experience wooing a freaky-deaky monster? If Wood wants to bust out some method acting madness, her experience dating ghost-faced rocker Marilyn Manson will come in handy. And there’s no doubting that she’s a serious acting talent. Go back and watch her as an unstable, self-harming drug-abuser in “Thirteen” and it’ll be clear that she can pull off the “Frankenstein” role.
Zooey Deschanel: Maybe the Bride of Frankenstein doesn’t have to be loud and loco. Perhaps she can be the brooding, damaged, explode-at-any-moment type. In which case Deschanel would be an excellent choice to come alive on the big screen. Her vacant-eyed vulnerability works just as easily in a drama (“Manic”) as it does in her more well-known comedic roles (“Elf,” “Yes Man”).
Amy Winehouse: This one really speaks for itself. Who needs a shred of acting talent—or any makeup—when you look exactly like Mrs. F when you roll out of bed?
Any of the Women from “The Real Housewives of New Jersey”: It seems almost cruel to choose among these reality show nut jobs, who have somehow out-crazied their cohorts from Orange Country, Atlanta and New York. Should it be Danielle, who admonished her friends to “puh-leeze” listen that she’d changed her name and been arrested? Or Teresa, who flipped over a dinner table and called her castmate a “prostitution whore”? If producers ever decide to change the title to “Brides of Frankenstein,” everyone can be a winner!
What do you think of our pics? Who’s your choice for the Bride of Frankenstein?