‘Total Recall’ Remake Totally Has A New Writer

Why Columbia, why? Director Paul Verhoeven’s sci-fi classic “Total Recall” doesn’t really scream for a remake, but that’s exactly what we’re getting. It’s old news, I know. That doesn’t mean I’ve accepted it though.

Now Kurt Wimmer has been tapped to deliver a script, according to a report in Variety. Wimmer is no stranger to sci-fi, having previously written “Equilibrium,” “Ultraviolet” and “Sphere.” Not exactly the most inspiring resumè, I know, but at least “Sphere” and “Equilibrium” — the two out of those I’ve seen — contain some interesting ideas. The heavily “Matrix”-inspired “Equilibrium” boasts some impressive action, including a standout pistol whipping fight scene. And yes, that is Christian Bale.

Both the original “Total Recall” and the coming remake are based on Philip K. Dick’s story “We Can Remember It For You Wholesale,” though Variety describes the new version as a “contemporized adaptation.” How a story set in the future will be “contemporized” remains to be seen, but I somehow suspect it will involve themes relevant to today’s deeper fears.

The first “Total Recall,” released in 1990, followed a man named Douglas Quaid (Arnold Schwarzenegger) who, dissatisfied with his life, invests in a sort of virtual vacation to Mars. A company called Recall inserts memories into their client’s minds, creating the sensation of having gone somewhere without ever leaving home. Quaid chooses to indulge in a secret agent fantasy on Mars, only it turns out that he really is a sleeper agent with connections to Mars. Or is he?

No casting or plot details have been announced for the coming remake, nor has the director been made official. It should be noted that Wimmer has directed before — “Ultraviolet,” “Equilibrium” and “One Tough Bastard” — though in this fan’s mind, if anyone should direct a “Recall” remake, it should be Verhoeven. Not that that’s likely to happen. I’m just sayin’….

Have you seen and loved “Total Recall”? Excited for a remake? Can you imagine a Verhoeven-less future on Mars? Hell, can you imagine anyone other than Schwarzenegger screaming “Come on, Cohaagen! You got what you want. Give those people air!”?