Contributed by Jeff Sneider
Dear Dakota Fanning,
You’ve been acting since you were 6 years old, popping up on popular (and bloody!) TV shows such as “ER” and “CSI.”
Since then, you’ve proven yourself to be an exceptionally talented young actress in films like “I Am Sam” and “The Secret Life of Bees.”
But one thing that stands out about your impressive filmography is that you’ve never done a proper horror movie, although you have certainly flirted with the genre.
First there was “The Cat in the Hat,” which was a horror film as imagined by Dr. Seuss. Then you did the horrifically bad psychological thriller “Hide and Seek,” but we can’t blame you for wanting to work with De Niro. Likewise, when Spielberg came calling for “War of the Worlds,” we understand how you couldn’t turn it down despite the last act being truly horrifying for all the wrong reasons.
This past February you starred in “Push,” which was scary in that it showed what an “X-Men” movie might look like without Wolverine. And that same weekend you starred in the dark children’s movie "Coraline," which was kind of like a horror movie, right? At least the parents of the 10 year-old girls at the screening I attended were screaming on their way out of the theater. And need I bring up the Southern Gothic drama “Hounddog,” which was definitely someone’s idea of a horror movie?
Now you’ve gone and signed on to the “Twilight” sequel “New Moon,” a completely understandable business decision that will keep you rolling in dough for years and appease your fanbase, the teenage girls who hold “The Twilight Saga” so dear to their hearts. But even with Juan Carlos Bayona (“The Orphanage”) directing the third film, “Eclipse,” it still won’t be a true horror movie. And since you already have one vampire film on your plate, I guess that rules out Matt Reeves’ English-language remake of “Let the Right One In,” which you’d be great for with the pale skin, sunken eyes and maturity well beyond your years (good for playing a centuries-old vampire).
So what about us real horror fans, Dakota Fanning? What do we have to look forward to? Well, now that you mention it, there is this little remake floating around called “A Nightmare on Elm St.” and that’s where you come in.
Dakota Fanning, meet Nancy Thompson. I think you two are a match made in fanboy heaven. Think about it… just don’t sleep on it (wink, wink).
You know where horror movies are usually lacking? The acting. They all cast the same skinny blonde cheerleader who runs around screaming in her bra and panties. You don’t really have that kind of appeal. Not yet anyways. But, and this is a BIG but, you can act. In fact, you really have no teenage equal. Which means you’d be perfect to match wits against Freddy Krueger. I mean, this isn’t just any slasher movie, this is the king of 80s horror!
If there was ever a remake to have hope for, it’s this one. And if you signed on early, I’m sure it would entice some really great actors to put on the red-and-green sweater and burn makeup. Plus, this could be a major adult franchise for you, built to suit your talents needs, rather than a PG-13 franchise based on a wildly popular series of books in which you play second fiddle to the female lead.
Now I don’t know what Wesley Strike’s screenplay looks like, or what producers Michael Bay, Brad Fuller, Andrew Form and director Samuel Bayer have up their collective sleeves, but you would undoubtedly raise the overall quality of the “Nightmare” remake. By the time this thing shoots, it could provide the ideal role to transition you from a cute young moppet to a full-blown adult in the eyes of your adoring public. Please be brave, branch out, take the plunge and save us from the likes of Lindsay Lohan and the hot but talentless Megan Foxes of the world. Get Team Fanning on it and make it happen because Freddy deserves better and so do all the horror fans you’ve been teasing for years.