Madonna Is Going To Be In ‘New Moon’ And I’ve Got Ocean-Front Property In Arizona For Sale

By Nicole Guanlao

There are three very important questions that have been plaguing my mind for the past few months: Will our economy get better by the time I’m 30? Should I rent an apartment in New York City? Which actors are going to play my favorite characters in “New Moon”?!

OK, maybe I’m exaggerating a bit with that last one, but from the looks of it, I’m not the only one itching to find out who’ll get the chance to play a werewolf or a vampire in the eagerly anticipated flick. I mean, we’ve heard all of those rumors, and some actually ended up being true — but after reading one after another, it just seems like everybody in world of pop culture (and their mother) wants to sink their white, un-fanged teeth into the “Twilight” franchise.

Twilighters were up in arms when they heard the rumor that Vanessa Hudgens and Brenda Song were in contention for the role of Leah Clearwater. They all cried, “No Disney stars … EVER!” Vanessa is still hoping to nab the coveted role as Jacob’s fiesty frenemy, but as of now, it looks like neither will be playing the part (hooray!). Twilighters got to breathe easy for about 2.5 seconds until another actor or actress was rumored to be the next Leah, Jane or Aro.

There were some reports that seemed too nutty to be true. If you thought the whole Hudgens/Song rumor was crazy, just brace yourself. Have you heard any of these?

Lindsay Lohan wants to be in “New Moon”! Hilary Duff is clamoring to be a part of the second installment of the “Twilight” saga! “Lord of the Rings” star Sir Ian McKellan as Aro! “Harry Potter” wizard Alan Rickman as a member of the Volturi!

None of the rumors above can beat the mother of all rumors: Madonna is going to be in “New Moon”!

Don’t get me wrong; I love all this casting drama. As a fan of the book series and an overall impatient person, I’m dying to know who’s going to be in film and I want to know now! When you’re so invested in these characters, you want all the facts, but it’s also fun to sit around and chat about the latest “New Moon” gossip. However, it’s only fun if the rumor is in the realm of possibility! No offense to Brenda Song, but she’s no Angelina Jolie — at least not yet. Once you start talking about heavy-hitters making cameos, it starts to sound like crazy talk. I mean Madonna … really?

In lieu of all the “New Moon” casting chatter, the wonderful “Twilight” team at MTV News put on their thinking caps and came up with a list of insane and completely unfounded rumors to rival some of the ones percolating on the Internet.

» Mickey Rourke is replacing Billie Burke as Charlie. Why? Because Mickey Rourke is awesome.

» Earlier this week the news broke that Governor Schwarzenegger was taking time off to do a film. Could this be a cover for a “New Moon” role? TOTALLY.

» There will be a new character named Stewart, Edward’s long-lost brother. Stewart will have equally awesome hair and will be played by Zac Efron.

» Brad Pitt’s old man version of Benjamin Button is going to play Aro.

» Daniel Radcliffe is going to replace Jackson Rathbone as Jasper. He’ll have his wizard stick handy in case Voldemort pops up to kill Edward.

Have you heard of any “New Moon” rumors that can rival our list? If not, think of your own funny and completely false rumors! Share them here!