My name is Shawn Adler and I am 26 years old, and I have been very, very good this year. (I promise!) I know it's been a long time since I wrote you a letter, but last week I saw a movie about you called "Fred Claus." It got me thinking, Santa. I never knew what hard work it was at the North Pole! You have all those elves and you can do magic, but you still have to read all the little boy's and little girl's letters yourself. How tiring! So the other day when I talked to the stars of "Fred Claus," we decided to put all our wishes in one place – that way you could read just one letter instead of five! They all said they haven't been naughty, Santa, and I believe them! I don't write cursive too good so my friends at MTV let me type up my letter here so you could read it easy.
Chris "Ludacris" Bridges is a funny little elf who plays music in "Fred Claus," Santa. Do you have DJs at the North Pole? What music do they play? He says "the one gift that I really wanted, that I never got when I was really young, was a Lamborghini Diablo to be exact!" That's silly. How could you ever fit a Lamborghini down a chimney! But Ludacris says he thought all that out for this year, Santa. He says you don't have to bring his new gift down the chimney at all. "I wouldn't mind getting a helicopter for Christmas," he said. "That'd be great! I have 22 acres at the crib, [so] just go ahead and land it. I'd be happy!" Maybe you can take that instead of the sleigh!
John Michael Higgins is in those funny movies with Christopher Guest, Santa. But he must not be too smart cause he said that he didn't get what he wanted when he was a kid because "I probably didn't make my wishes known. I didn't tell my parents. I didn't write a letter to Santa." Everyone knows you have to write a letter to Santa if you want a Christmas gift! But don't hold it against him Santa, because what he wants now "is pretty much the same gift [I wanted when I was younger], a Baltimore Colts helmet!" He's sorry he didn't write you when he was a kid, Santa. This time, though, he wants to be specific. "If you're [reading] this and you have one," he said. "[My hat size is] seven and three-quarters."
You must know all about Paul Giamatti, Santa, because he plays you in "Fred Claus!" Did you give him a tour of the toy factory so he could play you better? I'm so jealous! You must have known him for a long time, though, Santa, because it sounds like when he was a kid he was very naughty! "I suppose [when I was younger] I probably wanted some sort of BB gun. I wanted weapons all the time," he smirked. "I wanted those throwing stars and knives, I never got any of those." Well, of course not! Santa doesn't bring children weapons! But he's been extra, extra good this year, and he's all grown up too, so he hopes maybe you can make an exception. "You know what I want, I want some throwing stars and a knife this year," he said. "I want a knife, a good hunting knife!"
Vince Vaughn might be the hardest one of all to bring a gift for, Santa, because when he was a kid he said he got any toy he wanted! "My dad was a toy salesman, so I got a lot of toys!" he told me. "We were never raised overly materialistic that way, but I loved getting any kinds of toys." Who wouldn't! But maybe because he got all those toys when he was a little boy, Vaughn has bigger things on his mind this year, Santa. "I know it would be in vogue for me to say [I want] world peace or to cure world hunger," Vaughn said, a big smile on his face. "But the truth is [I want] a hot tub, a couple gals from Brazil and a 'Do Not Disturb' sign on the door...and then world peace!" Talk about "Ho, ho, ho!" But if anybody can do it, Santa, it's you!
After you've given out gifts to the cast of "Fred Claus," Santa, my gift should be simple in comparison. I just want an interview exclusive. I'll bring the cookies.
Shawn Adler and the cast of "Fred Claus."
P.S. Hope Rudolph is doing well. Say hello to Mrs. Claus for me!