Once upon a time, on a Windows XP desktop computer in the early '00s, Myspace (then stylized as MySpace) ruled the internet. You logged on after a long day of watching "Bill Nye" videos in science class and texting under-the-desk on your Motorola RAZR. Man, those were the days.
Today Myspace is all about the music, but previously it was a haven for teens who were too old for Neopets but too young for Facebook. Do remember dealing with the following struggles?
You love My Chemical Romance just as much as the next person, but you weren't down to sustain hearing damage after "Helena" unexpectedly blasted through your headphones.
The Top 8 drama
If you were *that* person who placed their new significant other in front of your longtime best friend, rest assured that someone somewhere still secretly holds a grudge against you for this grave error in judgment.
That person who constantly posted surveys to the Bulletin Board
Sorry, but nobody aside from your immediate friend circle cared about your middle name, favorite color or weirdly private aspects of your home life. Seriously, why did everyone think this very public forum was an appropriate place to share details about, say, getting farther than first base? NOPE.
Just the Bulletin Board in general, really
It was the place to go for dramatic rants. This is where people subtweeted before Twitter existed.
The never-ending mission to have the perfect layout
Tweaking layouts introduced Myspace users to the basic bare bones of HTML and maybe even ~inspired~ a generation of aspiring software engineers, computer science majors, coders and programmers. ?
Those unnecessarily neon and/or flashing layouts
Everyone had that one friend whose layout looks like a mismatched, glittery '90s website. The worst offense, in my opinion, was when there was an irritating trail of stars/hearts/rainbows/fairy dust/etc. continuously following the cursor.
That popular tiny pixel font
You know which one I'm talking about. It was basically the Comic Sans of Myspace, only you had to squint to read it.
Song lyrics anywhere and everywhere
Sorry not sorry for getting Something Corporate's "Konstantine" -- all 10 minutes of it -- stuck in your head now.
A sappy shout-out to a significant other in someone's profile
A cute "happy anniversary" is sweet. A gushing engagement announcement on Facebook is ?????!!!
But on Myspace, people for some reason thought their teenage puppy love wasn't the real deal (LOL) unless they posted a 300-word paragraph dedicated to their "baby" they'd been dating for two weeks. Sometimes this heartfelt gesture came accompanied with a photo of them snuggling or kissing. Cue vomming in your mouth a little bit.
The sceney photos
Sooo many side bangs.
Whenever you sent someone a message, you could see when they had read it. Yay! But whenever someone sent you a message, they could also see when you read it. UGH. And there was no way to turn it off, like there is today with iOS.
Tom never changing his profile picture
Over a decade later, Tom Anderson still has the exact some profile pic on all his social media. He's an amazing photographer now, BTW. Check out his skills on his Instagram.
When you tried to log in again years later and couldn't
I tried logging into my Myspace, basically a time capsule for my first marks on the internet, for ~research purposes~ before writing this. Like many of you, I couldn't remember my password and can no longer access my since-deactivated Yahoo -- or maybe yours was Hotmail or AOL -- email, so the "forgot password" option was out. If you're one of the lucky few people who can still access their old account, screenshot it and save it for the ultimate #TBT in 2015.