A Fairy Tale For Lorenzo As We Bid Season 3 Of 'Snooki & JWOWW' Adieu


Once upon a time on "Snooki & JWOWW," just off the Garden State Parkway, there lived a prince, a princess and their son. The LaValle castle's basement was a pleasant home for the young family, but as the air outside warmed, Prince Jionni and Princess Snooki dreamed of spending the summer along the Jersey Shore, and so -- though it pained Queen LaValle to see them go -- they packed up their belongings and took their little Lorenzo toward the water, where the juicehead gorillas dwelled.


Princess JWOWW was thrilled to hear that her best friend would also be her new neighbor, particularly since her relationship was on the rocks. She and Duke Roger were struggling to decide whether marriage and children were in their future, and -- as the princess was reticent to remove her chastity belt -- the duke found himself suffering through a certain type of frustration.


One weekend, to revisit the days of their youth, the princesses traveled south to the Kingdom of Atlantic City, where they drank, performed certain Tri-State Area dance rituals and considered a late-night asparagus buffet. Summer was in full swing, but still, there was work to be done.


Upon Princess Nicole's return home, she realized her dream wedding to Prince Jionni would never come to be if she didn't consult the kingdom's shopkeepers and venue coordinators to help. The princess looked no better than a court jester when she struggled with even the smallest of wedding details, and vowed to get down to business.


Meanwhile, Roger and JWOWW still weren't sure if marriage was their destiny, but after weeks of couple's therapy with the kingdom's apothecary, and one especially romantic candlelight supper, they began to let down their walls. More promisingly, they even began to consider adopting an heir to their eventual thrones...


...just as long as he or she didn't have a preexisting passion for catching fish.


As the days shortened and fall began to approach, the princesses decided to plan one last luxurious ball, complete with bedazzled dresses, richly textured wigs and, of course, their fairy godfathers, the Three Gay Joeys. They also invited Miss Fame, who was renowned for her work across the kingdom's drag circuit, but when Princess Nicole shoved the performer aside, Miss Fame tore the tiara right off the princess' head! To the dungeon with her!


Still, the damage paled in comparison to the stain her friend, Lady Deena, left on the upholstery in the Great Hall after guzzling nearly a barrel of wine.


Toward summer's end, little Lorenzo celebrated his very first birthday in the company of the family and friends that loved him (and luckily, they weren't wearing those scary-ass clown suits).

The End.