Yeah, your mother's apple pie is fine, but here's what we're most thankful for in 2013...
1. Cupid, for finally shooting his arrow through the hearts of our beloved "Hills" girls, Lauren Conrad, Whitney Port and Holly Montag...and making sure they got some shiny bling out of the deal. Here's to surprise wedding proposals and never having to suffer through another dating disaster.
3. Hurricane Nia, for raining hell all over Portland and finding a new, creative use for lamps.
5. The MTV holiday party included the slaughter of a life-sized unicorn, the innards of which turned out to be layered rainbow cake bound together with (magic) almond marzipan. The exit is to the rear of the auditorium, "Top Chef: Just Desserts."
9. Danity Kane's back! WE'RE DIVAS BUT WE RIDE LIKE BIG BOYS DO, etc..
13. In August, we rode the elevator with Susan Sarandon, who was too preoccupied with production talk to notice our stained jorts! Onward...
14. Even that GPA-sinking C+ in pre-calc was nothing compared to the mess Jenna Hamilton's in.
15. AND NIKKI DELOACH GETS A BABY! AND KAILYN LOWRY GETS A BABY! AND KRISTIN CAVALLARI GETS A BABY! AND CHRISTINA SINCLAIR GETS A BABY! AND LEAH CALVERT GETS A BABY! AND MACKENZIE DOUTHIT GETS A BABY! MTV babies, everywhere.
16. Justin's "Catfish" slow clap. It's the only slow-clap GIF you'll ever need.
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Photo: Colin Gray and Ian Spanier