Once upon a time, in the olden days of “Jersey Shore,” a bikini wax and flask full of Ron Ron Juice might have topped Snooki & JWOWW’s list of most necessary items for a proper girls’ night out, but now that the best friends are older, wiser and more prone to digestive probs, they’ve got new, chalky-pink priorities.
As evidenced by last week’s episode, these days, the ladies need a little more than a sparkly tube top and unlimited booze to have a successful GNO. When the BFFs left their fiancés (and the wee one!) for a wild-ish evening in Atlantic City, complete with drag queens, blackjack and late-night acrobatics, we learned that a few additional items are now par for the course when Snooks and her boo-boo are itchin’ for a good time. Let us enlighten you:
Anti-diarrhea medication. Or, as Snooki likes to call it, “piss-diarrhea-out-of-my-ass medicine.” Nicole and Jenni weren’t about to cancel their trip to AC over a case of the runs. The shart-happy duo promptly armed themselves with Pepto-Bismol (taken with shot glasses, obviously) so as not to let a little butt-stank ruin their fun.
Flip-flops. Jenni maintained perfect balance in her slightly wedged sandals (until eventually passing out in a booth at the club). Nicole, on the other hand, rocked platform heels and proceeded to fall down no less than five times. We’d suggest the pint-sized guidette invest in a pair of flats, but oh, how we love our Snooki face-plant montages!
Asparagus. Gone are the days of deep-fried hangover cures. Nicole’s not about to ruin her new trim physique with thousand-calorie cravings. Asparagus: the drunk food for health nuts!
Public signage. We’re not advocating thievery, but if you want to have a true S&J-inspired GNO, then ya gotta be stealth. Wet floor signs, no smoking warnings or even garden gnomes will suffice as your fancy “new accessory,” just as long as you return them the next morning. You don’t want to share your mugshot with a stop sign, now do you?
Hangover disguises. You know, for the morning after. Sunglasses, a beanie and some bronzer to mask that green tint to your face.
+ What do you never leave home without for a GNO? Tell us, and tune in to an all-new “Snooki & JWOWW” tonight at 10/9c!
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