No matter how hard we try to fill the "Hills"-shaped hole in our hearts, it's a lost cause, and not a day goes by that we don't reminisce about the happier times: when Audrina Patridge's ceiling eyes instilled a sense of wonder, Kelly Cutrone's wisecracks instilled a sense of fear and Kristin Cavallari was still a witch with a capital "B." So, in honor of four of the most fabulously dramatic years of their (and by proxy, our) lives, we're counting down the top seven things we miss most about The Show That Lauren Conrad Built. The rest, of course, is still unwritten...
1. Watching the girls work hard for the money. Before they were big-time fashion designers and TV hosts, they were lowly coffee-fetching wannabes -- just like the rest of us chumps! Yep, proud as we are of all their success, we still occasionally think back to the days when 'Drina spent her afternoons answering phones at Milk Studios, Heidi got reamed out by Brent Bolthouse and LC was super intimidated by Emily the Intern at "Teen Vogue." If only all menial jobs led to fame and fortune...
2. The monosyllabic joys of Justin Bobby. You remember JB -- the big-haired, mumbly hipster guy who wore trucker hats and tried to make shirtless overalls a thing? Well, when he wasn't breaking Audrina's heart (at least once a season), he was generally confusing the hell out of us with his incomprehensible dude-speak. Still, it's worth noting that he's better than most of the guys 'Drina dated on the show (and also the real-life inspiration behind James Franco's finest work).
3. Dancing to "The Hills" theme song. Every so often (but not often enough), and just when we least expect it, Natasha Beddingfield's pop ballad will suddenly hit the radio, and all we want to do is jump around the room in our PJs. We still feel the rain on our skin! WE STILL FEEL IT!
4. Lauren and Whitney's amazing facial expressions. From eye rolls to death stares, these girls had the perfect face for every occasion...except maybe a high-stakes poker tournament. We gotta give them a shout out for their energy, style and commitment to always showing how they really felt. The GIF industry owes "The Hills" a debt it can never fully repay.
5. That time Whitney Port gave us something new to obsess over. We were worried we'd never see her again, but then "The City" happened, and we could finally stop watching her "GMA" face plant on repeat to fill the void.
6. Watching Speidi fall in love. Sure, they still make us face-palm with their ridiculous antics and shameless publicity stunts, but if there ever were two peas in a (self-promotional) pod, it's Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt. We've been there for every step of their extremely well-documented journey, from Heidi's "pregnancy" (JK! it was just a test!) to Spencer's bizarro crystal-necklace phase. And then there was that one time they wore matching his-and-hers surgical masks throughout their entire (first) honeymoon.... Man, every pot really does have a lid.
7. The staring contests. If we could watch an entire episode of just the girls giving each other side-eye over brunch, we surely would.
+ Did we miss anything? Check out our Most Memorable "Hills" Moments list below for a refresher!
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Photo: Steven Lippman